BREAKING: Matt Damon has died
You will be missed!
Joe Biden
BREAKING: Musk releases laptop with pics of him smoking crack, laundering cash & sex trafficking minors to ensure FBI won’t investigate him
US—In a brilliant pragmatic move, Tesla and Twitter CEO Elon Musk has released a laptop full of evidence of him...
BREAKING: Man who released illegal arms dealer from prison gives lecture on gun control
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden on Wednesday renewed vows to secure a new ban on assault weapons in the United States...
BREAKING: Biden swaps America-hating ‘Merchant of Death’ for Russian arms dealer
US—On Dec. 8, 2022, the Associated Press confirmed President* Joe Biden has secured a prisoner swap of America-hating "Merchant of Death" for...
BREAKING: Time gives 10% of Zelensky’s Person of the Year award to ‘the Big Guy’
Time magazine named Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky 2022's "Person of the Year" on Wednesday, but made sure to clarify that...
Treason’s Greetings from the Bidens!
"From our family to yours, we wish everyone treason's greetings. May your holidays be filled with the peace and joy...
Biden promotes non-binary Brinton to head TSA citing experience stealing women’s luggage
WASHINGTON, DC—A non-binary Biden administration official nuclear waste expert was charged with stealing a traveler’s luggage from the Minneapolis airport...
BREAKING: CIA flubs pathetic assassination attempt on Biden
US—The CIA are getting very rusty. Their pathetic assassination attempt to take out President* Biden ended with five burnt SUVs...
Child Abuse Hotline volunteer shocked when Joe Biden tried to ‘place an order’
WASHINGTON, DC—A volunteer for the local Child Abuse Hotline service was shocked when she received a call from President* Joe...
8 Health Conditions President Biden Probably Has
Joe Biden doesn’t seem right. Strange speeches, trips, falls, and incoherent ramblings. If he was your grandparent you may think...
