BREAKING: Congress to pass new gun control law to make people obey current gun control laws
WASHINGTON, DC—Following another school shooting in which the alleged perpetrator violated several laws on his way to killing 19 people,...
Nancy Pelosi
Zelensky assures US that 10% of $40B aid package will go to the ‘Big Guy’
KYIV—Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky has agreed to a peace deal effectively ending the Ukraine-Russia war immediately following the deposit of...
Democrats promise to fix all the nation’s problems by killing more babies
WASHINGTON, DC—In the face of crashing stock markets and skyrocketing inflation, Democrats have promised to kill more babies, outgoing White...
Biden declares war on the Ultra Mega Super Actors
Washington - President Joe Biden declared war on the Ultra-Mega Super Actors this morning. Calling them the most devastating legion...
Zelensky promises Pelosi she will get her cut of the money laundering paid in vodka
KYIV—Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has promised that US Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi will get her cut of the...
BREAKING: Pelosi tests positive for COVID but is asymptomatic due to all the alcohol in her blood
WASHINGTON, DC—House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has tested positive for COVID-19, according to a statement the California Democrat released Thursday, but...
EXCLUSIVE: Horrifying video shows Ukraine on fire after Russian attack
KYIV—Most of the news out of Ukraine has been fake, but Genesius Times has obtained an exclusive video of the...
Biden receives ashes from Church of Planned Parenthood on Ash Wednesday
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden received ashes from the Church of Planned Parenthood on Ash Wednesday. The tradition started several years...
Democrats praise Biden for not dying during State of the Union address
WASHINGTON, DC—Without much to celebrate, Democrats turned to the old failsafe of the president not dying during the speech as...
BREAKING: Pelosi Bill to Fund Beer Coozie Delivery to Alcoholics
WASHINGTON, DC—Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi proposed a bill today to fund the distribution of beer coozies to alcoholics...
