BREAKING: Franklin fire near Malibu leaves several Hollywood elites stranded, unable to run their Satanic pedophile rings
MALIBU, CA—In a shocking turn of events, the Franklin Fire around Malibu has not only scorched over 4,000 acres of...
Satan
Satan distances himself from Pfizer after Grammys sponsorship
HOLLYWOOD—The Prince of Darkness has denounced his Grammys ritual being sponsored by Pfizer, claiming the company "is pure evil." "I...
Eminem sacrifices two goats to Moloch in annual Illuminati halftime show
LOS ANGELES—The annual Illuminati initiation ritual, also known as the Super Bowl LVI Halftime show, featured an unprecedented number of...
Satan follows Big Tech’s lead, bans Trump from Hell
HADES—Today, Satan tweeted out that, effective immediately, Trump and his supporters will be banned from every circle of Hell. "Effective...
Biden’s worship of the Devil puts him at odds with some of his fellow Catholics
WASHINGTON DC—In January of 1961, John F. Kennedy, became the first Catholic President of the United States. Now, sixty years...
Satan buys summer home in California after Newsom makes it just right for him
LOS ANGELES--The fallen angel Lucifer, also known as Satan, has purchased a summer home in California after Governor Gavin Newsom...
Satan opens 10th circle of Hell where all you do is install car seats in minivans all day
In an ongoing effort to increase the misery of millions of damned souls, Satan has announced a brand new, more...
Satan congratulates socialists for committing every deadly sin at once
A Bernie Sanders speech at a Democratic Socialists of America meeting was interrupted earlier this week when the Prince of...
Cardinal Dolan doesn’t see a good reason to excommunicate Lucifer
New York Catholic Archbishop Timothy Dolan argued that excommunicating the fallen angel Lucifer would be counterproductive because the pro-abortion demon...
