OPINION: If you don’t like the SCOTUS decision, then you can just start your own judicial system
Ok dear reader, if I know you, and you certainly know me, then I know you are having a terrible,...
abortion
Biden to release 100m barrels of baby formula from strategic reserves, send it to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—Americans can rest easy on the baby food shortage according to President Joe Biden, announcing he will issue an...
Biden promises to fix baby formula shortage by sending more weapons to Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden addressed the "shocking" baby formula shortage in the US by sending more weapons to Ukraine. "Really...
Psaki says parents who can’t find baby formula ‘should have just had an abortion’
WASHINGTON, DC—Outgoing White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki said that parents who are having trouble finding baby formula amid a...
Lightfoot adds bloody aborted fetuses and bullet holes to official Chicago city flag
CHICAGO—Democratic Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot is vowing that her city will be an "oasis" for abortions if Roe v. Wade is overturned, going as...
Democrats promise to fix all the nation’s problems by killing more babies
WASHINGTON, DC—In the face of crashing stock markets and skyrocketing inflation, Democrats have promised to kill more babies, outgoing White...
Don’t want a rape? Don’t get a rape. It’s not okay to impose your religious views on others!
I'm a super progressive. One might say I'm "ultra" progressive. I dye my hair. I have a Ukraine flag in...
Newsom takes break from force-vaccinating people to lecture everyone about bodily autonomy
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has taken a short break from forcing people to wear masks, stay inside, and getting vaccinated in...
BREAKING: Insurrections are okay now
WASHINGTON, DC—Insurrection is now okay, following the leaking of the Supreme Court decision that is poised to overturn Roe Versus...
BREAKING: AOC says she was killed by leaked SCOTUS decision and is now dead
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a statement that she was “literally killed” by the leaked SCOTUS decision...
