Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

AOC reports she’s in stable condition after the assassination attempt on Salman Rushdie’s life

News That Matters August 19, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has reported that she is in stable condition today after the assassination attempt on author...

AOC says she was ‘just kidding about the Green New Deal’ as she pumps the AC to 72°

Exavier Saskagoochie August 1, 2022

US Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been making the case for reducing fossil fuels use and reducing one’s carbon footprint. But she recently...

BREAKING: FBI investigating invisible noose found in AOC’s office

News That Matters August 1, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI has sent 15 agents to investigate an invisible noose found in US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's office yesterday....

BREAKING: Biden has AOC’s bug eyes surgically implanted to look more alert

Exavier Saskagoochie July 29, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—After much criticism of Biden's squinting and looking half-dead, the president has undergone surgery to implant Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's eyes...

AOC identifies as being handcuffed in pro-abortion insurrection

Jeremy Spoken July 22, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC--Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has identified as being handcuffed during pro-abortion insurrection at the US Supreme Court. As the Daily...

97% of climate scientists say that the world has already ended and that everyone is dead

News That Matters July 17, 2022

US—A new poll by the Pew Pew Institute has confirmed what many have suspected for some time: 97 percent of climate...

AOC’s husband miffed that she just wants to date Alex Stein

Exavier Saskagoochie July 15, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—Following a harrowing experience on the Capitol steps in which she was nearly murdered, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has...