Biden awards AOC the Purple Heart for her bravery in the War of January 6th
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden awarded Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) the prestigious Purple Heart medal for her military valor in the War...
Chuck Schumer
TRADE ALERT: GOP trades Mitt Romney to Democrats for cash and an intern to be named later
Democrats in the senate announced a blockbuster trade Monday, noting that they obtained Utah Senator Mitt Romney from the GOP...
After second acquittal, Trump urges Democrats to impeach him again to claim 3-game winning streak
UNITED STATES—By this time you’re probably aware that Trump was acquitted in his second impeachment trial by a vote of...
Democrats to impeach all 75 million Americans who voted for Trump
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning and unprecedented move, Senate Democrats have subjected all 75 million Americans who voted for Trump to...
BREAKING: Democrats promise to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats have officially promised to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power. "We pinky swear...
Dems have evidence Trump’s next SCOTUS nominee ‘drowned immigrant trans puppies’ for fun
WASHINGTON DC—Following the recent passing of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, President Donald Trump's replacement nominee has already...
Product marketers replace stereotypical blacks with authentic blacks to fight racism
Marketers across the country are replacing racist depictions of stereotypical blacks on their food products with more authentic blacks in...
Marvel releases new superhero blockbuster ‘Black Pander’ starring Pelosi, Schumer, and Nadler
WASHINGTON—The Marvel superhero universe just got a lot bigger and more ridiculous with the release of this summer's guaranteed blockbuster,...
BREAKING: Sen Schumer becomes ‘made guy’ in Genovese Crime Family after threatening SCOTUS Justices
In a remarkable tirade yesterday, Chuck Schumer threatened the very lives of two Supreme Court Justices Brett Kavanaugh and Neil...
BREAKING: Ben and Jerry’s “Peach-Mint” recalled after attempting to suicide over 63 million people
Genesius Times food critic, Buffet Bill Scaletopper, has been given another exclusive, revealing Ben and Jerry's newest and most disgusting...
