Biden officially renames White House Press Secretary ‘Miss Information’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden has officially renamed the White House Press Secretary position "Miss Information" in order to better align with...
Jen Psaki
Shocking poll: 1% believe the crazy conspiracy theory that Biden got 81 million votes
US—A surprisingly high 1% of the US population believe the wild conspiracy theory that Joe Biden got 81 million votes...
Facebook officially changes its name to Fascebook
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—To better align with its core principles, social media giant Facebook is changing its name to Fascebook. Users...
White House unveils uniforms for new door-to-door vaccine informants
WASHINGTON, DC--President* Joe Biden announced Tuesday that his administration would step up efforts to get Americans vaccinated against COVID-19 with a new...
US Olympic Committee awards Gwen Berry gold medal in Virtue Signaling in reparations for her not winning her actual event
EUGENE, OR—Following Gwen Berry's protest during the Olympic trials national anthem, the US Olympic Committee has awarded the activist athlete...
White House staff confused about who’s still peeing on the floors after Biden’s dogs were removed
WASHINGTON, DC—White House cleaning staff are flummoxed about who is still peeing all over the floors of the Oval Office...
Biden to give his first press conference in the year 4032, shortly after it’s okay to stop wearing masks
WASHINGTON, DC—Media reports confirmed today that President Biden is set to have his first press conference in the year 4032,...
BREAKING: White House schedules Biden’s first State of the Union speech for shortly after he dies
WASHINGTON, DC—The White House has scheduled President Biden's first State of the Union speech to be delivered to a joint...
Biden approval rating surges after he’s replaced with a cardboard cutout of himself
US—President Biden's approval rating has surged after he was replaced with a cardboard cutout of himself yesterday. The move came...
Cuomo updates pronouns to herr/Führer
Breaking: New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo today proclaimed, “From this day forward, I will be referred to as, ‘herr/Führer’....
