DoD quietly adds new DEFCON levels for Biden food cravings, poopy pants
WASHINGTON, DC—The Office of the Joint Chiefs of Staff has notified media outlets that the Department of Defense has added...
Joe Biden
AOC: ‘Insurrectionists are just mad they can’t date me’
Did you know that all those frustrated insurrectionists are just mad they can't date me? It's true. That's why I've...
Biden awards velvet ropes the Medal of Freedom for saving democracy during Jan 6 insurrection
WASHINGTON DC- Following its brave defense of freedom during history's darkest moment, the January 6 insurrection, Resident Joe Biden awarded...
BREAKING: Joe Biden has killed Betty White
WASHINGTON, DC—Joe Biden promised a winter of sickness and death and he's starting to put his money where his mouth...
Kamala Harris says Mayan calendar prophesies she will assume presidency February 02, 2022
WASHINGTON DC—Vice President Kamala Harris says the Mayan calendar has revealed she is to take the presidency of the United...
FBI to put 100% of agents on finding out who got Biden to say ‘Let’s go Brandon’
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI is known for their tireless dedication to fighting horrible crimes and only horrible crimes. Like the time...
Generous Americans donate their vaccines to undocumented immigrants
US—Millions of generous Americans are forgoing their COVID vaccines to make sure that the millions of undocumented immigrants pouring in...
BREAKING: Hillary Clinton ‘seriously thinking about’ losing again in 2024
Hillary Clinton said that she was, “seriously thinking about,” losing the presidency again in 2024. After a fall in the polls...
BREAKING: Biden to replace Christmas with 12 variants of Coronamas
WASHINGTON, DC—Due to the rise of gas prices, an increase in inflation, and overall economic failure, the the Biden administration...
Twitter bans Twitter for allowing CDC tweets contradicting CDC
TWATVILLE, CA—Social media behemoth Twitter has been banned indefinitely from its own platform for violating its community standards of not...
