LeBron James sets all-time NBA record for virtue signaling
LOS ANGELES--LeBron “King” James set a new NBA record last night, specifically a quadruple double. You read that right, in...
Business
China pinky-promises to lower carbon emissions by 2069
BEIJING—Xi Jinping and all of his advisors have pinky-promised to lower their country’s emissions by the year 2069. The promise...
All food packaging to feature at least one Obama from now on
The Mars company announced today they are 'Racist No More' and have signed Barack Obama to replace the outdated Uncle...
Anticipating SCOTUS riots: Trump calls up clone army
Fearing Democrats will make good on their threats and burn down America if he so much as whispers a nomination...
Elon Musk claims his 2025 Model 3 Neuralink vehicles will run on ‘Wishful Thinking’
Elon Musk has been working on his Neuralink system for decades. He now claims he can cure anxiety, depression, hangovers,...
Georgia to open Uyghur concentration camp to lure Disney back to state
ATLANTA—Georgia Governor Brian Kemp has announced a brand new concentration camp for ethnic Uyghurs in an effort to lure the...
NFL plays anthem for every ethnicity on Earth before first game to promote unity
In response to the increased racial tension in America, the NFL opened its first game with the white national anthem,...
Oscars now require Best Picture nominees to have at least 1 scene with a living turd
Ahead of the #OscarsSoWhite controversy’s fifth anniversary, the Academy has announced a new set of inclusion requirements films must meet...
YouTube explains its extremely clear community guidelines
YouTube is a very open and transparent social media platform. In this informative video, YouTube representatives explain their extremely clear...
Smith & Wesson names Antifa their #1 salesman for 2020
It looks like gun sales are through the roof. It seems like not only is there a 6-month waiting list...
