BREAKING: Pentagon officials hire Bill Belichick to spy on Iran for WWIII
Pentagon officials have confirmed they have hired the world's most experienced spy to assist in the lead up to World...
Culture
New York Times scrambles to find soft personal side to Iranian mass murderer
Following a military strike on Iran's most deadly terrorist, Maj. Gen. Qassim Suleimani, the New York Times newspaper was scrambling...
Charlize Theron begins transitioning son into Tyrannosaurus Rex
Hollywood actress and professional virtue signaler Charlize Theron is the perfect mother, treating her children exactly as they want to...
Beto seen trying to convince Texas church security to wait for police during shooting
WHITE SETTLEMENT, Texas—Armed members of the West Freeway Church of Christ stopped an alleged mass shooter from killing more than...
Merry Refugeemas! Saint Negligence promises a fake asylum seeker for every supporter of amnesty!
The Christmas Holiday is well known despite the efforts of Secular legal precedence set forth in the 1960s, but a...
BREAKING: Bernie Sanders caught impersonating Santa and stealing 90% of people’s gifts from under tree
Presidential candidate and ardent democratic socialist Bernie Sanders has been arrested for impersonating Santa Claus and entering people's homes in...
ABC swaps offensive Red Ryder BB Gun in ‘A Christmas Story’ with Frozen Elsa doll
The beloved Christmas movie A Christmas Story is getting a facelift in the new progressive era. Now, instead of Ralph...
Virginia replaces armed warrior on state flag with gender-fluid submissive
The new Democratic Virginia legislature isn't wasting any time progressing the state forward. After threatening to send the National Guard...
Pope Francis declares pathetic laser Christmas lights a mortal sin
In a bold move that will rock the foundations of Christendom, Pope Francis has declared the installation of and display...
Disney to replace entire ‘Rise of Skywalker’ with 3 hours of Baby Yoda clips
After disappointing Last Jedi gross sales accompanied with a low average rating, Disney is hedging its bets for the last...
