BREAKING: Dozens of activists die of asphyxiation while holding breath to fight climate change
Led by Green New Deal coauthor and scientific mastermind Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, hundreds of climate activists held their breath for over...
Culture
Pelosi dusts off her never-used Catholic card for press conference
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi dusted of her never-used Catholic card and presented it at a press conference regarding...
BREAKING: Joe Biden comes out as a ‘keratinsexual’
In the gender fluid world of today, there has been yet another group oppressed by the Christian Conservative Merica Gun-Toting...
Biden hires Jar Jar Binks as new speech writer
In an effort to stay relevant with the people he hopes to command as president, Democratic front runner Joe Biden...
STUDY: Time travels 3.4 times faster using a chocolate Advent calendar
Albert Einstein would have appreciated this news. A new study released in the Annals of Physics has shown that time...
POLL: Baby Yoda leads all Democrats for 2020 Presidential bid despite not running or being real
A cute little fictional sci-fi character has soared to the top spot in the Democratic primary field, leading his nearest...
China cracks down on Green Arrow propaganda for inspiring rebellious archery
Due to the usage of archery by Hong Kong Protesters, The People’s Republic of China is using the powerful influence...
Grown-ass Antifa member forced to return to little kids table for Thanksgiving
A local grown-ass Antifa member was forced to return to the 'little kid table' for Thanksgiving this year due to...
Bernie Sanders showed up to Thanksgiving dinner without a dish again
Presidential hopeful and long-time taxpayer freeloader Bernie Sanders showed up for his family's Thanksgiving dinner without bringing a dish again...
Conservative transgender fired from Drag Queen Story Hour for ‘just sitting there reading’
Conservative transgender woman Beatrice Arnold was fired from a Pittsburgh area library Drag Queen Story Hour for not being perverted...
