Biden appears on ‘The View’ and finally becomes smartest guy in the room
NEW YORK—After nearly 3 ½ years as president and over 50 years in public office, President* Joe Biden has finally...
Culture
BREAKING: Personalized Coke Machine at White House Now Dispenses Actual Dime Bags with Hunter Biden’s Name on Them
WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to avoid future confusion and streamline the investigative process, the White House has unveiled a state-of-the-art...
BREAKING: P. Diddy launches ‘Pedophiles for Harris’ group from jail
In a move that’s raising eyebrows across the political spectrum, music mogul Sean “P Diddy” Combs has officially launched a...
Oprah Winfrey hosts Harvey Wienstein reunion party in support of Kamala Harris
HOLLYWOOD HILLS — Oprah Winfrey, queen of daytime television and undisputed gatekeeper of celebrity culture, has outdone herself once again...
Guinness World Records awards Mossad for ‘Most Vasectomies at One Time’ surpassing 2024 Democratic Convention
In a ceremony filled with pomp and, ironically, very little circumstance, Guinness World Records awarded the Israeli Mossad the coveted...
BREAKING: Sean ‘P Diddy’ Combs has tragically committed suicide in Manhattan jail tomorrow
NEW YORK—Sean “Diddy” Combs, the iconic hip-hop mogul, has tragically committed suicide in a Manhattan jail tomorrow. Despite the event...
BREAKING: National touring company has canceled upcoming ‘Cats’ performance in Springfield, Ohio
SPRINGFIELD, OH—In an unprecedented move, the National Touring Company of Cats has canceled its much-anticipated performance in Springfield, Ohio, citing...
Oxford to discontinue “Is the Pope Catholic?” idiom
After several years of questionable Catholicism by Pope Francis, Oxford, publisher of the Official World Idiom Book, has announced it...
LEAKED: Taylor Swift contract to endorse Kamala Harris for $100,000 and lifetime supply of adrenochrome
NEW YORK—A leaked contract has revealed that pop megastar Taylor Swift is allegedly set to endorse Vice President Kamala Harris...
Taylor Swift is growing out her mustache and armpit hair until Trump is taken off the 2024 ballot
NEW YORK—In a bold move, pop sensation Taylor Swift has announced that she will not shave her mustache or armpit...
