Local ladies attend ‘Worst clam rally in history’
WALKER, LA — Three local woman prepared their finest clam dishes in preparation for their first clam rally. Three hours...
Culture
Nancy Pelosi declares herself the one and only United States congressperson
United States Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi of California's 12th Congressional District has used the rarely mentioned Plague Clause of the US...
Hospitals making up for lost revenue by adding bed-side slot machines
President Trump, just yesterday, asked his Cabinet to 'think out of the box' on healthcare. Secretary of Casinos, Professor Hold...
Hipster still wearing skinny jeans despite not being able to show them off in Zoom meetings
GRAND RAPIDS, MI — Strictly abiding by Michigan's lock-down regulations, hipster Andrew Sadura is still wearing his favorite pair of...
Trump mandates all hotels include a copy of ‘The Coronavirus Bible’ during pandemic
President Trump has mandated that all hotels replace their Gideons Bible with a copy of "The Coronavirus Bible (Revised Satirical...
BREAKING: 23andMe reveals Nancy Pelosi shares 99.97% of her DNA with the Wuhan bat
Have you seen the Wuhan bat? The teeth alone are scary enough but put that together with the rest and...
Police shoot local dad for violating Justin Trudeau’s finger gun ban
FAIRVIEW, ALBERTA — Following Justin Trudeau's recent ban of 1,500 makes and models of firearms, Canadian officials marked their first...
CDC warns second wave of COVID-based celebrity virtue signaling will be worse than the first
We already reported that the CDC has warned Americans to be prepared for a second wave of inflated COVID death...
Cuomo blames COVID for NYC crime wave caused by his early felon release
Cuomo just released another thousand or so violent felons into the population to keep them safe. Crime skyrockets and a...
Bill Gates to play himself as the next Bond supervillain
Details on the hotly anticipated Bond 25 have been revealed for the first time- with evil genius billionaire Bill Gates...
