Walmart now offering free COVID anal swabs before shopping
BENTONVILLE, AR—In the interest of making the shopping experience for everyone as safe as can be, Walmart Supercenters will now...
Health
Nadler says 2 or 3 sets of underwear are safer
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Jerry Nadler (D-NY) now agrees with the CDC that two or three sets of underwear are safer in...
Here’s a guide to President Biden’s plan to fight COVID-19
WASHINGTON, DC—Following a press conference with President Biden’s press secretary Jen Psaki, the White House released its official plan to...
Plastic bags are the new double face masks
"Plastic bagging" is a sensible and easy way to virtue signal to your fashionable death Many of us who watched...
BREAKING: France officially surrenders to COVID-19
PARIS, FRANCE—French Prime Minister Jean Castex announced today that almost a year after fighting one of the world’s deadliest viruses,...
Kamala sneaks a ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ order in Biden’s stack of executive orders
WASHINGTON, DC—At one point during the flurry of executive orders signed by President Joe Biden, he said, "I don't know...
Biden gets revenge on Trump by raising cost of insulin for millions of Americans
WASHINGTON, DC—President-No longer elect Biden and his administration is finally getting back at the evil dictator Trump by raising the...
BREAKING: Vatican declares Biden a saint after he miraculously ends COVID one day in White House
VATICAN—Pope Francis has confirmed that the first beatification of a living person: US President Joe Biden after he has ended...
Trump pranked Biden by rearranging his pill organizer before leaving White House
WASHINGTON, DC—As his final act upon exiting the White House, Donald Trump pranked the incoming resident by switching his medications...
BREAKING: Virus deaths no longer the fault of the president
WASHINGTON, DC—Following Joe Biden's presidential inauguration, the media announced that deaths attributed to the China Virus are no longer the...
