After scary heart surgery, Bernie decides he’s the candidate without a brain
If I only had a brain, Bernie Sanders’s campaign aides are reporting, has been on the lips of the octogenarian...
Health
BREAKING: Bernie Sanders fakes heart attack to get out of paying for dinner again
Democratic presidential primary contender Bernie Sanders is off the campaign trail for a few days after he underwent emergency surgery Tuesday...
BREAKING: Local man nominated for Nobel Prize after constantly complaining about the heat
Local resident Sam Bilkie has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize after consistent complaining about the heat this summer....
![IMG_2682[3137]](https://genesiustimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/IMG_26823137-300x198.png)
Report: Looney Tunes episodes more scientifically literate than Greta Thunberg’s UN speech
It’s true. I know, I was surprised. The moment Greta started blubbering about the adults in the room ruining her...
Local abortionist laughs at recent mass shooter’s ‘rookie numbers’
Stanley Alberts, the #1 abortionist at the Columbus, Ohio Women’s Clinic has some advice for the most recent mass shooters....
Beto gun grab to start with water gun confiscation from each and every child
During last Thursday’s presidential debate, former Texas congressman Robert "Beto" O'Rourke said, “Hell yes, we’re going to take your AR-15, your...
Despite mental lapses Biden confident he will win the 2020 race for Shady Acres Retirement Home President
Call them gaffs or mental lapses, former Vice President and current presidential candidate Joe Biden has had plenty of them...
Breaking: McDonald’s throws hat into ‘chicken wars’
Some are inclined to say Chick-Fil-A, while others bear the brand of Popeye's. I say what is the purpose of...
Bernie: “Sacrificing poor people to Moloch is our only hope against climate change”
A long time ago, in the land of fairies and magic, human beings collectively believed they could appease their angry...
STUDY: Leftists complaining about Amazon fires account for more C02 than the actual fires
According to a study conducted by the International Climate Literal Science Expert Group there has been a sharp increase in...
