Chicago celebrates Juneteenth by hosting 75 murders over the weekend
CHICAGO—As Juneteenth celebrations took place across the nation, Chicago decided to put its own unique spin on the holiday by...
Newsbeat
BREAKING: FBI forgets to take their logo off van before false flag White House attack
In a stunning display of oversight, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) recently found itself in an embarrassing predicament when...
BREAKING: CNN to air constant reruns of Trump townhall to boost ratings
ATLANTA—In a desperate attempt to boost their ratings, CNN has announced that they will be foregoing all other programming and...
Fox News unveils new graphics package to distract from Tucker not being there
In a bold move to distract viewers from the absence of their star anchor, Tucker Carlson, Fox News has unveiled...
Congressional hearing highlights appalling lack of gender equity among crash test dummies
In a shocking and eye-opening Congressional testimony, experts in the field of automotive safety have highlighted the appalling lack of...
BREAKING: Fox news replaces Tucker Carlson with AI Tuckerbot to assure the nation everything is fine
In a move that has stunned the media world, Fox News has announced that they will be replacing longtime anchor...
BREAKING: Fox trades Tucker Carlson for Don Lemon and 6 draft picks just before trade deadline
In a shocking move just before the Cable News trade deadline, Fox News has reportedly traded star anchor Tucker Carlson...
Chicagoans now boarding up their car windows to get around safer
CHICAGO—Chicagoans have come up with a revolutionary new solution: boarding up their car windows and windshields to avoid rioters bashing...
BREAKING: Democrats promise to keep killing kids until you give up your guns
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats have promised to keep killing your kids until you give up your guns. Former Speaker of the...
BREAKING: Nashville shooter’s pronouns changed to was/were during school shooting
NASHVILLE—28-year-old biological female Audrey Hale, who used the pronouns he/him before killing six people at Covenant School Monday, had her...
