Newsbeat

BREAKING: Biden to transfer all home mortgage loans to homeless people and renters

Exavier Saskagoochie August 26, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—Following the popular move to "forgive" student debt and transfer it to people who never went to college, President*...

BREAKING: Redacted FBI warrant for Mar-a-Lago raid just says ‘Orange Man Bad’

Exavier Saskagoochie August 25, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—The Justice Department released a sealed version of its proposed redactions to the FBI affidavit used to get a...

Brittney Griner celebrates 140 days being drug-free

Jeremy Spoken August 25, 2022

MOSCOW—WNBA superstar Brittney Griner celebrated 140 days being drug free today while serving a 9-year-sentence for possessing marijuana in Russia....

FBI: Trump was hiding Area 51 space aliens at Mar-a-Lago

Jeremy Spoken August 24, 2022

MAR-A-LAGO, FL—Genesius Times has just received credible information that the wild speculation that the Mar-a-largo Raid was the result of...

BREAKING: Russians massacre innocent Ukrainian family in cold blood

Exavier Saskagoochie August 22, 2022

KYIV—Russians have brutally massacred an innocent Ukrainian family for no reason as shown in a surveillance video. US President* Biden...

Amid skyrocketing inflation, Hunter Biden forced to pay 18% to ‘The Big Guy’

News That Matters August 22, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—No one is exempt from the skyrocketing inflation, including President* Joe Biden's son Hunter, who is now forced to...

Biden: ‘FBI has enough evidence to indict Trump on charges of misdemeanor malarkey’

News That Matters August 20, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden says that the FBI now has enough evidence to indict Trump on charges of misdemeanor malarkey....

AOC reports she’s in stable condition after the assassination attempt on Salman Rushdie’s life

News That Matters August 19, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has reported that she is in stable condition today after the assassination attempt on author...