Sweet Meteor O’Death surges in the polls after dismal presidential debate
CLEVELAND—The inanimate celestial body Sweet Meteor O'Death, which will be passing by Earth shortly before the US presidential election surged...
Newsbeat
Newsom signs executive order releasing prison inmates who don’t ‘identify’ as a criminals
SACRAMENTO—California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) signed an executive order Saturday allowing inmates to be released from prison immediately if they don't "identify" as a...
#metoo changes name to #hetoo ahead of Trump’s female SCOTUS pick
WASHINGTON DC—The civil rights #metoo campaign, which was pivotal in the fight against literal Hitler Brett Kavanaugh has changed its...
Joe Biden pulls support for Ruth Bader Ginsburg memorial after learning ‘she ain’t black’
Though notorious RBG hasn't been put to ground as of this writing, mourners and hysterical Liberals have been descending on...
BREAKING: Joe Biden nominates Roseanne Barr to the Supreme Court
WILMINGTON, DE--After hearing of the tragic loss of Ruth Bader Ginsburg from the Supreme Court and the Earth, Democratic presidential...
Biden security detail to use only NERF guns from now on
MIAMI—After promising to outlaw assault weapons if elected, presidential nominee Joe Biden is putting his money where his mouth is,...
Netflix corrects problematic ‘Cuties’ by putting Joe Biden in every scene
LOS GATOS, CA—Amid widespread backlash over the provocative film 'Cuties', Netflix has apologized and corrected the problematic content by putting...
Biden: ‘If you’ve never smoked crack, you’re racist’
WILMINGTON—In a new interview with radio show host Charlamagne tha God, Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden stated bluntly, "If you've...
Biden supporters set fire to their homes in solidarity with rioters
PORTLAND, OR—They say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. That has now been proven beyond a...
Biden Boat Parade in Chicago ends with 25 shot, 8 dead, 0 boats
While several huge Trump Boat Parades happened over Labor Day weekend with more on the way, the lone Biden Boat...
