BREAKING: Sen Van Hollen claims it’s ‘disgusting’ that Kilmar Garcia can’t be home in Maryland to beat his wife on Easter like he used to 
AOC vows to torch her Tesla made by that ‘stupid billionaire’ as soon as she figures out how those magic firesticks work 
Catholic Nuns Cure ADHD With Simple Life Hack 
Local liberal agonizes over which cold-blooded murderer to support today 
Scientists now say that burning Teslas to the ground is better for the environment than not doing so 
How To Manage A Business From Another Country: Our Top Tips
Managing a business is a challenging task to accomplish. Managers have countless responsibilities that need their attention. Some might assume...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Time gives 10% of Zelensky’s Person of the Year award to ‘the Big Guy’
Time magazine named Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky 2022's "Person of the Year" on Wednesday, but made sure to clarify that...
How to Play Off Accidentally Posting Satire as an Actual Headline
Did you eat the Onion? Get stung by the Bee? It's understandable with actual news headlines so ridiculous that it's...
BREAKING: Elon Musk offers to buy the FBI from the Clintons
US—Elon Musk has launched a $66 billion bid to buy the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), saying the proposed deal...
Treason’s Greetings from the Bidens!
"From our family to yours, we wish everyone treason's greetings. May your holidays be filled with the peace and joy...
Elon Musk sets new world record for not killing himself after revealing Deep State censorship
US—Last month Genesius Times, and News That Matters heralded Elon Musk's new world record for not killing himself after publicly...
Democrats pass law making home invaders announce they are burglars before robbing you
US—Democrats struggling to shake the "light on crime" stigma have passed a sweeping crime reform bill. The new bill, which...
Biden promotes non-binary Brinton to head TSA citing experience stealing women’s luggage
WASHINGTON, DC—A non-binary Biden administration official nuclear waste expert was charged with stealing a traveler’s luggage from the Minneapolis airport...
BREAKING: CIA flubs pathetic assassination attempt on Biden
US—The CIA are getting very rusty. Their pathetic assassination attempt to take out President* Biden ended with five burnt SUVs...
FBI Concerned About Outbreak of Free Speech on Twitter
There’s been an explosion of free speech on Twitter since Musk bought the company, and that has the FBI very...
