Local men dominate International Women’s Day 
BREAKING: Democrats unveil bold new ‘Peace is War’ campaign in support of endless Ukraine conflict 
AOC horrified terrorists are running over people with gas-powered cars instead of electric vehicles 
CNN: More cars mysteriously drive themselves into German pedestrians 
Bondi assures Americans: ‘Epstein files coming soon—just need to blot out all the Israeli connections first’ 
Amid skyrocketing inflation, Hunter Biden forced to pay 18% to ‘The Big Guy’
WASHINGTON, DC—No one is exempt from the skyrocketing inflation, including President* Joe Biden's son Hunter, who is now forced to...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Liz Cheney vows to keep fighting for the Uniparty following blowout loss
CHEYENNE, WY—US Representative. Liz Cheney (R-WY) vowed to keep fighting for the Uniparty in an exclusive interview with Genesius Times...
Biden: ‘FBI has enough evidence to indict Trump on charges of misdemeanor malarkey’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden says that the FBI now has enough evidence to indict Trump on charges of misdemeanor malarkey....
BRAVE: Michelle Obama inspired a movement with the first Drag Queen Story Time
I don't care who you are but Michelle Obama inspired a movement in the first Drag Queen Story time narrator....
Local Leftist swaps ‘Defund the Police’ bumper sticker for ‘Support Your Local FBI’ sticker
US—A local leftist, Wankie McLittlejon, has finally switched his ‘Defund the Police’ bumper sticker to one that says ‘Support Your...
AOC reports she’s in stable condition after the assassination attempt on Salman Rushdie’s life
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has reported that she is in stable condition today after the assassination attempt on author...
BREAKING: Pope Francis bans all ‘assault rosaries’ from Catholic homes, churches
THE VATICAN—Following the Atlantic's article identifying the rosary as an "extremist" assault weapon, the Holy Father has moved to ban...
Tulsi Gabbard Venmos Nanci Pelosi $600.01 forcing the IRS to audit Pelosi’s finances
US—Former Representative Tulsi Gabbard has sent $600.01 through Venmo to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, which will force the...
BREAKING: Liz Cheney being airlifted from Wyoming to DC following primary election
CHEYENNE, WY—Republican Liz Cheney was seen being airlifted out of her Wyoming habitat after residents in the state overwhelmingly voted...
BREAKING: Supporting law enforcement is okay again
(CNN)—Millions of "Defund the Police" activists are cheering the FBI raid on former president Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate and criticizing the...
