BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
Happy binary cisgendered birthing person day if that’s how you identify
I don't know who needs to hear this, but mothers do not exist per say. My three doctorates in various...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Jen Psaki leaves bat-sh*t crazy White House to join just moderately psychotic MSNBC
WASHINGTON, DC—Jen Psaki says she will seek ‘a boatload of R&R and lots of drugs.” to re-acclimate into a normal...
Democrats promise to fix all the nation’s problems by killing more babies
WASHINGTON, DC—In the face of crashing stock markets and skyrocketing inflation, Democrats have promised to kill more babies, outgoing White...
Elon Musk secretly buys 51% of all passwords, will soon control internet
ZURICH—The GPO, Global Password Organization, announced on May 5th, World Password Day, that Elon Musk, the SpaceX and Tesla entrepreneur,...
Don’t want a rape? Don’t get a rape. It’s not okay to impose your religious views on others!
I'm a super progressive. One might say I'm "ultra" progressive. I dye my hair. I have a Ukraine flag in...
Newsom takes break from force-vaccinating people to lecture everyone about bodily autonomy
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has taken a short break from forcing people to wear masks, stay inside, and getting vaccinated in...
BREAKING: Amber Heard successfully resists urge to poop all over courtroom floor
Amber Heard has successfully resisted the urge to defecate all over the courtroom floor while on the stand in her...
Biden declares war on the Ultra Mega Super Actors
Washington - President Joe Biden declared war on the Ultra-Mega Super Actors this morning. Calling them the most devastating legion...
BREAKING: There is a new world’s fastest woman swimmer
Ladies and gentlemen and gentlemen who are ladies and ladies who are gentlemen, there is a new fastest woman swimmer...
BREAKING: Insurrections are okay now
WASHINGTON, DC—Insurrection is now okay, following the leaking of the Supreme Court decision that is poised to overturn Roe Versus...
