JUST IN: Tone deaf pilot has gender reveal party in the midst of LA wildfires 
Woman who got rich from people burning down cities get her mansion burnt down by wildfire 
BREAKING: LAPD arrest local vigilantes for stopping arsonists setting fires throughout city 
BREAKING: California rejects Oregon firefighters after their trucks fail smog check 
Brave LAFD hosts Pride Parade in charred Pacific Palisades neighborhood 
BREAKING: NASA discovers evidence of ancient, microbial racism on Mars
WASHINGTON, DC—NASA’s Curiosity rover has uncovered ancient deposits of microbial racism on the Red Planet, opening up the possibility of...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell sentenced to 20 years for sex trafficking minors to nobody
US—British socialite turned-CIA informant turned-convicted sex-trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell finally got her due Tuesday when she was sentenced to 20 years in prison...
Amber Heard to testify to January 6 Committee that President Trump beat her up, raped her
WASHINGTON, DC—Fresh off of her defamation trial with ex-husband Johnny Depp, Amber Heard is set to testify as a "star...
Jussie Smollett testifies to Jan 6 Commission two Donald Trumps wearing MAGA hats attacked him
WASHINGTON, DC—The January 6 Commission has called "star witness" Jussie Smollett who testified under oath that two Donald Trumps wearing...
BREAKING: Jan 6 Commission releases video of Trump commandeering limo from Secret Service
WASHINGTON, DC—Then-President Donald Trump became irate and tried to grab the steering wheel of the Secret Service limousine when told...
BREAKING: Lightfoot launches new ‘drive-by abortions’ program in Chicago
CHICAGO—Democratic Mayor Lori Lightfoot led a crowd Saturday in a hate-filled chant against Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. Speaking at...
BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell has tragically committed suicide next week
NEW YORK–In a shocking coincidence, Ghislaine Maxwell, who has recently been put on suicide watch even though she is not...
Pfizer reminds women they can still get an abortion by getting another COVID vaccine
US—Pfizer has reminded women in the United States that they can still get an abortion following the Supreme Court's overturning...
Moloch to accept credit card donations for those who can’t sacrifice their babies to him anymore
US—In the wake of the Supreme Court of the United States overturning Roe v. Wade, the Canaan god Moloch, known...
BREAKING: Dozens of fat ugly women won’t have sex with you until you support killing babies
US—Following the leak of the SCOTUS decision overturning Roe v Wade, many brave and entirely unattractive feminists have taken to...
