Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Justin Trudeau came out of his hole and saw his shadow so will spend another 6 weeks in quarantine
OTTAWA, CANADA—As is the new custom for Groundhog Day, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau poked his head out of the hole...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
OPED: Truckers ? aren’t ? workers ? so ? they ? don’t ? have ? rights
I don't know who needs to hear this but truckers—especially the ones protesting the vaccine mandates in Canada—aren't real workers,...
BREAKING: DC NFL team confirms new name: Washington Communists
WASHINGTON, DC—The Washington National Football League team, which has been nameless since getting rid of their racist Redskins nomenclature has...
BREAKING: To make Canada more inclusive, Justin Trudeau bans white people from the country
OTTAWA, CANADA—In an effort to make Canada more inclusive, Prime Minster Justin Trudeau has officially banned white people from the...
US Bobsled team renames their sled ‘Biden’ because nothing has taken America downhill faster
BEIJING—In preparation for the 2022 Winter Olympics, the US bobsled team has named their #1 sled "Biden" because nothing has...
POLL: Who would you rather have running the government: Truckers or Politicians?
Truckers have descended on Canada's capital raising the question, who would you rather have running the government?
UPENN combines men’s / women’s swim teams; winning now based on talent and looks
PHILADELPHIA—UPENN Board of Trustees will announce tomorrow that the best solution for the swim team’s trans conundrum is to keep...
Abraham Lincoln quote on online arguments
This is one of my favorite Lincoln quotes. It really summarizes the current age of Twitter arguments. Lincoln was so...
Socialists are furious that workers of the world are uniting
OTTAWA, CANADA—Socialists in Canada and in various countries are furious today as workers of the world are uniting to protest...
BREAKING: UN officially recognizes the new country of ‘Truckistan’
OTTAWA, TRUCKISTAN—The United Nations have officially recognized the new country of Truckistan, according to a press release by the UN...
