Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
LeBron changes last name to ‘Slavery’ to get back at Enes Kanter Freedom
LOS ANGELES—The growing feud between NBA players Enes Kanter and LeBron James just got more intense as Kanter became an...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Chris Cuomo sues CNN for wrongfully terminating him for being a cuomosexual
ATLANTA—Former CNN anchor Chris Cuomo is suing the media company, saying they wrongfully terminated him for being a "cuomosexual". "Did...
Rep who calls all Americans terrorists is offended at being called a terrorist
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Ilhan Omar (D-MN) who regularly calls all Americans terrorists was recently offended when Rep Lauren Boebert made...
Modern-day Hanukkah miracle: Local man fills up car with enough oil to last 1 day, lasts 8 days
Local New York City resident Isaac Goldberg is very familiar with Hanukkah, having celebrated the holiday since he was a...
BREAKING: US proposes new lockdown to stop the Omicron variant
US—Citizens across the US proposed new lockdown measures in the face of the scary-sounding Omicron coronavirus variant. "It's pretty clear...
BREAKING: Travel bans aren’t racist anymore
WASHINGTON, DC—Officials have declared that it is no longer racist to restrict travel from Africa after President* Joe Biden restricted...
NBC to air new special: ‘Trannie Live!’ in December
NEW YORK—NBC has revealed the full cast for the upcoming television event Trannie Live!, set to air December 2 at 8...
Walmart opens new ‘Loot!’ section in all of its San Francisco-area stores
UNITED STATES—Walmart CEO Dan McMillon announced today that Walmart will have a special looting section in all of its San...
FBI drops terrorism case on Waukesha killer after learning he never protested a school board
WASHINGTON, DC—The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) has dropped its domestic terrorism case against the Waukesha Christmas parade killer after...
Amid inflation surge, Wheel of Fortune forced to raise price of vowels
Inflation has been hitting virtually every major sector of the economy – from gas at the pump, to food, to...
