Hey RFK Jr., Hands Off! Why Poison in Our Food Is Actually Good 
Millions of new tariff experts unsure how to pay off their student loan debt 
Climate activists protest Elon Musk by sending ‘NO DOGE’ smoke signals up from burning Tesla batteries 
AOC: Only Illegal Immigrants Should Get Due Process Because they Broke the Law to be Here So Clearly They Really Want It 
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes 
BREAKING: Brave LA Fire Chief Kristin Crowley is using only gay water to fight Palisades Fire
LOS ANGELES—In nod to her main focus of diversity, inclusion, and equity (DEI), Los Angeles Fire Chief Kristin Crowley announced...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Trudeau leaves Canada to take up his birthright of ruling Cuba
OTTAWA—In a shocking turn of events, Justin Trudeau has announced his resignation as Prime Minister of Canada to pursue a...
CNN: Fiery but mostly peaceful wildfires destroy California
(CNN) Hundreds of fiery but mostly peaceful wildfires burned across the state of California in recent days and nearly 250,000...
Trump officially renames the Mexican-American War the ‘American-American War’
MAR-A-LAGO—Following a call to change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, President Donald Trump...
Fact-checkers deny claims that Mark Zuckerberg is putting an end to fact-checkers
MENLO PARK, CA — In a twist that could only be described as a plotline from a dystopian tech thriller,...
BREAKING: Trump to buy Greenland to rename it Iceland and buy Iceland to rename it Greenland
NUUK, GREENLAND—An idea whose time has come, former President Donald Trump announced his latest and greatest real estate venture: purchasing...
BREAKING: Biden bans anyone from making America great again after he leaves office
In a move that has sent shockwaves through political circles, President Joe Biden has signed an executive order that effectively...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris becomes first DEI hire to certify her own presidential election loss
WASHINGTON, DC—In a twist of fate that's equal parts tragic and comedic, Kamala Harris has boldly stepped into history as...
BREAKING: Justin Trudeau resigns to focus on career in blackface entertainment
OTTAWA—In a move that has left the Canadian political landscape in shock, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced early this morning...
BREAKING: Feds host January 6 ‘reunion party’ with special guest Ray Epps
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI are hosting a January 6 reunion party with special guest Ray Epps to commemorate their insurrection. Today...
