BREAKING: Mark Zuckerberg meets with Trump at Mar-a-Lago to secure release of his dad from Area 51 
Trump selects Jeb Bush for Secretary of the Department of Low Energy 
AOC demands Black Friday be renamed ‘Friday of Color’ 
Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
Genesius Times issues apology to China
Much has been said about the apology that John Cena made after he accidentally said that Taiwan was a country....
Satire That’s Truer Than News
OPED: It takes balls for John Cena to let China cut them off like he did
Many have mocked and ridiculed John Cena for apologizing to China and the totalitarian Chinese Communist Party for daring to...
Biden ends investigation into whether China leaked COVID because ‘they said they didn’t’
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden administration has concluded the investigation into whether the Chinese Communist Party had developed and released COVID-19 as...
50 Shades of Communism
Netflix is releasing a new film staring democratic socialists Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: 50 Shades of Communism. The man...
Netflix releases new documentary on January 6 riot ‘AOC: Defending the Capitol’
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—The online media giant Netflix has released a new documentary on the January 6th riot in Washington, DC...
BREAKING: Mostly peaceful gunfire erupts in George Floyd autonomous zone on anniversary of death
(CNN—MINNEAPOLIS) A hail of mostly peaceful gunfire erupted on Tuesday at George Floyd Square, a police-free zone that encompasses the area in Minneapolis where...
BREAKING: Several people actually still believe what Anthony Fauci says
US—In a shocking poll conducted by the Pew Pew Research Center, it appears that several people—maybe upwards of 150 across...
BREAKING: George Floyd celebrates 1 year of sobriety
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—George Floyd, patron saint of fentanyl, celebrated 365 consecutive drug-free days today. Mr. Floyd famously quit taking drugs following...
Biden awards AOC the Purple Heart for her bravery in the War of January 6th
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden awarded Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) the prestigious Purple Heart medal for her military valor in the War...
BREAKING: G-D comes out as gender neutral, pronouns are they/them
HEAVEN—Heavenly sources confirmed today that G-D has come out as gender neutral, and Their preferred pronouns are They/Them. They Themselves...
