AOC: ‘If global warming is a hoax, why is it 90° in Australia now in the middle of WINTER?!’ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth opens senate confirmation hearing by calling Adam Schiff ‘so ugly even Epstein wouldn’t bring him to his island’ 
BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Biden reassures California wildfire victims he will be sending $100 billion to Ukraine in their name 
AOC horrified that people are using gas-powered blowtorches instead of solar-powered one to start wildfires in California 
Joe Biden appoints Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey as Secretary of Education
WASHINGTON DC—Following Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey’s grooming session at a public library, former Vice President Joe Biden appointed him head...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Maricopa County admits they used Common Core math to tally fraudulent election
PHOENIX, AZ—Election officials in Maricopa County have explained why the audit of the 2020 presidential election there may have come...
Democrats launch investigation into why so many people want free and fair elections
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats in House Oversight Committee have launched an investigation into why there's so much interest from American voters...
Confused hitman kills journalist investigating George Clinton
NEW YORK CITY—Rolling Stone journalist Vincent Brown was found dead in his apartment shortly after completing a review of Parliament...
Fauci: Conor McGregor ankle injury caused by COVID; vaccine would have saved him
The greatest medical person in history and now MMA fighting expert Doctor Anthony Fauci has made yet another ruling. The...
Prosecutors charge white lightning with hate crime after it destroyed George Floyd mural
TOLEDO, OH—Prosecutors have charged the natural phenomenon of lightning with a hate crime after it struck and destroyed a George...
BREAKING: TX House votes 76-4 to send cowboy to ‘lasso and hog tie’ fleeing Democrats
AUSTIN—The Texas House voted 76-4 Tuesday to send a rodeo cowboy to track down Democrats who left the state a...
Joe Biden in ‘The Jerk’
Move over Steve Martin! This is a role Joe Biden was born for!
Gov Newsom sues to get swastika removed from his name on recall ballot
SACRAMENTO, CA—Governor Gavin Newsom is suing the state’s top elections official in an attempt to get the swastika removed from...
Why Cuba is really protesting the George Floyd murder
HAVANA, CUBA—Thousands of Cubans took to the streets on this week in a number of cities to protest and while...
