Hunter Biden claims new ‘masterpieces’ lost in wildfire were totally worth $200 million 
AOC: ‘If global warming is a hoax, why is it 90° in Australia now in the middle of WINTER?!’ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth opens senate confirmation hearing by calling Adam Schiff ‘so ugly even Epstein wouldn’t bring him to his island’ 
BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Biden reassures California wildfire victims he will be sending $100 billion to Ukraine in their name 
BREAKING: Democrats vote to remove Southern states from US for ties to slavery
WASHINGTON DC—In a shocking and unprecedented move, congressional Democrats have voted to remove Southern states from the Union for their...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Ryan Gosling is George Floyd in the new BLM production based on true events
It's sure to win several Oscars. If it doesn't you're racist. You're all racists.
Harris/Biden administration to transfer all student debt to people who never went to college
WASHINGTON, DC—Vice President* Kamala Harris made a bold promise today, promising to make everyone who has paid off their student...
Time: Biden taking on stairs
Did you catch a wiff of the new Time cover? Those aviators! "On his way to meet Vladimir Putin, Secret...
David Hogg campaigns to ban assault donations like those used on AOC’s abuela
HOGG HEAVEN, FL—Activist David Hogg, who is known for his fight to ban guns and his MyPillow competition MyDillow, has...
CNN rehires Jeffrey Toobin as Chief OnlyFans Correspondent
In a touching story of redemption, Jeffrey Toobin returned to CNN following his embarrassing departure when the former Chief Legal...
BREAKING: Biden declares Branch Covidians official state religion; will persecute non-believers
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden, in conjunction with the future President* Kamala Harris, has declared that Fauciism is the new state...
Fauci declares ‘I am science’ as he launches new COVID Inquisition Panel
WASHINGTON, DC—Grand Science Wizard Saint Anthony Fauci has declared what everyone in the mainstream media has known for a while:...
Local cop calls LeBron James to tell him what he should’ve done better in playoff loss
SAN BERNADINO, CA—A local police officer Bernie Jambles spoke to NBA star LeBron James earlier to tell him exactly what...
BREAKING: Guatamala deports Kamala Harris
GUATAMALA CITY—Immigration authorities in Guatamala have deported an annoying American named Kamala Harris. She will be extradited to Mexico, where...
