BREAKING: Mark Zuckerberg meets with Trump at Mar-a-Lago to secure release of his dad from Area 51 
Trump selects Jeb Bush for Secretary of the Department of Low Energy 
AOC demands Black Friday be renamed ‘Friday of Color’ 
Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
CDC announces if you wear two swim suits you can pee in the pool this summer
ATLANTA—US health officials at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have issued new guidelines for swimming in the...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Fauci says everyone has to mask up and social distance until the next pandemic
WASHINGTON, DC—In an interview today with CNN host Brian Stelter, Dr. Fauci cautioned that everyone has to wear masks and...
Biden says it’s not racist to be racist to Tim Scott because ‘he ain’t black’
WASHINGTON, DC—In a brave progressive move, President Joe Biden, who's white, defended people who hurled racial epithets toward America's only...
Gov. Cuomo working on resurrecting 89 deceased nursing home patients to gain back House seat
NEW YORK—After the Census reported that NY is set to lose a seat in the House of Representatives, Gov. Andrew...
Democrats push to make Palestinian Territories 51st state of the Union
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats proposed a House Resolution today which would make the Palestinian Territories the 51st state of the Union....
BREAKING: Pope Francis names George Floyd patron saint of fentanyl
THE VATICAN—Pope Francis announced today that following the conviction of Derek Chauvin, George Floyd was a martyr of social justice...
Iranian government hires Kerry as new propaganda minister
TEHRAN, IRAN—Iranian President Hassan Rouhani announced today via Twitter that the Iranian government has hired John Kerry as its new...
CDC says you can now peak your head out from your self-imposed prison once a day
NEW YORK (AP) — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) said Tuesday that you can finally peak your...
7 ways to avoid getting shot by police
Have you ever thought about the possibility of getting shot by the police? Like ever? Well, we want to help...
Bill Gates wins Oscar for best villain in real life
HOLLYWOOD—The 93rd Academy Awards broke a lot of new ground this year including awards for best real-life villain, which went...
