Local men dominate International Women’s Day 
BREAKING: Democrats unveil bold new ‘Peace is War’ campaign in support of endless Ukraine conflict 
AOC horrified terrorists are running over people with gas-powered cars instead of electric vehicles 
CNN: More cars mysteriously drive themselves into German pedestrians 
Bondi assures Americans: ‘Epstein files coming soon—just need to blot out all the Israeli connections first’ 
IDs are racist except when they’re for buying a gun, flying, driving, adopting a pet…
I don't know what bigots need to hear this but IDs (ie identification cards) are purely racist tools of CIS-gender-normative...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
AOC slams long lines at McDonald’s as ‘diner suppression’
NEW YORK—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Socialist-NY) took to Twitter today accusing McDonald’s of ‘diner suppression’ over long waiting lines at the...
Biden: ‘I’m very excited to have Transformers in the US Military’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden was excited to hear that, "the US Military would be allowing Transformers to serve," overturning a...
Biden cancels April Fool’s Day because it marginalizes Democrats
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has officially cancelled April Fool's Day because it promotes the continued marginalization of his voters. "April...
GOP to hold hearing to determine why nothing ever happens after their hearings
WASHINGTON, DC—Republican lawmakers have scheduled a hearing to determine why nothing ever happens after their hearings, sources say. "We have...
BREAKING: FBI has evidence of Matt Gaetz engaging in sex trafficking and illicit drugs with minors
WASHINGTON, DC--The FBI has photographic and video evidence of Representative Matt Gaetz (R-FL) participating in sexual activities and engaging in...
No you can’t just ‘identify’ as being vaccinated. That only works with social constructs like having a penis.
It has come to my attention that so-called people are trying to act like they "identify" as being vaccinated without...
Biden hires the Wizard of Oz to interpret his immigration policy
WASHINGTON, DC—No one is quite sure what US President Joe Biden's immigration policy is, least of all, the president himself....
Here are 10 common sense gun control measures to prevent future shootings
Whenever a mass shooting occurs, it’s important to ask ourselves what policies could’ve prevented said shooting. With now two shootings...
JUST IN: AOC suggests banning murder to stop mass shootings
NEW YORK CITY—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (NY) took the nation by storm today when she suggested the federal government should ban...
