In lieu of aid, Kamala enrolls California fire victims in Jelly of the Month Club 
Hunter Biden claims new ‘masterpieces’ lost in wildfire were totally worth $200 million 
AOC: ‘If global warming is a hoax, why is it 90° in Australia now in the middle of WINTER?!’ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth opens senate confirmation hearing by calling Adam Schiff ‘so ugly even Epstein wouldn’t bring him to his island’ 
Cuomo updates pronouns to herr/Führer
Breaking: New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo today proclaimed, “From this day forward, I will be referred to as, ‘herr/Führer’....
Satire That’s Truer Than News
ALERT: Pillsbury Doughboy reported missing
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—General Mills representative and pastry enthusiast, the Pillsbury Doughboy, has been reported missing to the authorities. Police are not...
Biden taps gender-neutral Potato Head as Agriculture Secretary
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has selected the new gender-neutral Potato Head toy as Secretary of Agriculture, enabling him to check several...
Shocking study finds 100% of people who support abortion have already been born
WASHINGTON, DC—Researchers at The Brookings Institute recently published a groundbreaking study on the topic of abortion. The study, which was...
Biden to target more women in his Syrian airstrikes than any previous president
WASHINGTON, DC—Worried about claims that his first military action as commander in chief would unfairly leave out females, President Biden...
Coca-Cola unveils new logo without any white
ATLANTA—In an effort to stay ahead of the woke curve, progressive soft drink company Coca-Cola has introduced its new logo,...
Biden calls an early lid on presidency
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden is calling an early lid to his presidency but Vice President Kamala Harris will be carrying on...
BREAKING: Biden promises to end Alzheimer’s by 2008
WASHINGTON, DC—For those still maintaining any doubts about his cognitive and mental state, the following should clear things up: in...
EXCLUSIVE: NASA releases stunning selfies from Mars rover
JEZERO CRATER, MARS—NASA's most powerful rover yet, the Perseverance, is regularly sending back images from the Red Planet, some of...
AOC unveils plan to fix Texas’s energy problems
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has suggested the answer to the near total failure of green energy in Texas...
