Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
BREAKING: Bernie will ‘save billions eliminating food stamps’ by eliminating food
Democratic socialist presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has been criticized for his expensive government program proposals, but he also has plans...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Bernie doubles down: ‘And that Hitler fella had a really good jobs program’
Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders stood by his defense of Fidel Castro's communist regime, stating bluntly: "The truth is the truth." He took...
Jussie Smollett pleads not guilty to being employable
CHICAGO—Former “Empire” star Jussie Smollett pleaded not guilty Monday to charges that he's an employable actor. His lawyer, Tina Glandian,...
Buttigieg eats grapefruit by stabbing it with scissors and vacuuming the contents out with a straw
SOUTH BEND, IN – Pete Buttigieg came under criticism by pouncing Republicans this week after it was discovered he has...
BREAKING: CDC recommends breathing masks at Bernie rallies to prevent spread of deadly socialism
As the deadly socialism pandemic spreads across the globe, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has issued...
After success of vagina-scented candle, Gwyneth Paltrow releases hairy armpit and boobsweat candles
Move over Yankee Candle. There's a new sheriff in town with an aroma people can't seem to get enough of....
Sanders campaign defines ‘socialism’ as being social with people on their way to internment camps
Socialism? Yuk. Gulags, mass murder, mass starvation, deprivation everywhere, disease. That's not a pretty picture to present to potential voters....
BREAKING: Trump permanently quarantines entire state of California as protective measure
Not long after CDC officials urged Americans to prepare for coronavirus outbreaks that will almost certainly begin to spread nationwide,...
Sotomayor says Trump justices are ‘biased’ as she ignites Trump effigy during case
Liberal Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor blasted her conservative colleagues on the bench, saying they are biased toward President Trump...
Purple cyclops community praises Pixar for embracing diversity
ATLANTA, GA—The Society for the Inclusion of One-eyed Purple People (SIOOPP) is praising Disney Pixar today after it was revealed...
