Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
Liberal confused as to why no one was able to defend himself in his gun-free zone mass shooting
Local liberal Nathan Fizzle is completely flummoxed. After a mass shooting last year, he thought he had the solution: he...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
OPINION: It’s time to fire Tucker Carlson for killing the last wild Triceratops
#FireTuckerCarlson is trending and I'm totally in support of it but not because of why other people think he should...
Enlightened progressive recycles platitude ‘Prayers won’t change anything’ for the 278th time this year
Cue the eye-rolls. In the wake of tragedy, a nation full of people capable of doing little more than praying,...
20 killed in Chicago shootings over weekend but there was no racist manifesto so no one cares
CHICAGO – At least 72 people were shot, including 12 fatally, over the weekend in Chicago, another eruption of violence in a city that...
St. Louis man dismayed to learn that he’s actually a Russian bot
Jerry Franklin was just going about his morning as usual, sipping his coffee, checking email, correcting people on the Internet,...
Nation relieved to learn the horrific racist mass shooting was actually just a false flag by the Deep State
Millions we're horrified by the blatant racism of a lone gunman shooting up an El Paso Walmart targeting Latino Americans...
Notorious welfare queens proceed to lecture Americans about right and wrong
Nobody saw this coming. Google, tech overlord the world over, having made billions turning taxpayer money into infrastructure and search...
Facebook’s sanctions now include labeling platform offenders with scarlet “A”
In an attempt to ‘moderate the hate’ on their platform, Facebook has rolled out a novel punishment for repeat offenders....
Rep. Cummings uses Baltimore improvement grant to publish rat and mice cookbook
After being criticized for not doing much to solve his districts horrible, rat-infested slums, US Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-MD) has...
Mario Lopez disapproves of giving toddlers cancer-causing hormones, is burned at the stake
Well this escalated quickly. During an interview with world renowned white-supremacist, Candace Owens, Mario Lopez let his bigotry show. He...
