Elon Musk needs to stop doing amazing things because it’s making us gender studies triple-doctorates feel worthless 
BREAKING: Trump considering replacing Federal Reserve with much more reliable Magic 8 Ball 
BREAKING: Dems cheer Laken Riley’s murder As ‘A very, very late term abortion’ 
White House: Nuclear Armageddon was always a key part of Biden’s ‘Build Back Better’ agenda 
Transwomen complain about uniforms crushing their balls during dominating performance 
Travelers cheer as TSA officers return to fondle their privates
U.S.—Plane travelers across the United States are celebrating the end of the government shutdown primarily because the T.S.A. guards are...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
California’s Governor Gavin Newsom introduces tax on ‘thinking’
California Governor Gavin Newsom proposed his first budget for the state on Friday, and it includes a tax on thinking....
Activists take break from protesting NRA killing innocent children to celebrate abortion bill that will kill innocent children
Several activists in New York who typically protest the National Rifle Association (NRA) for its horrific role in promoting school...
Trump to move to DEFCON 1 after reports of 32 measles cases in Washington
As of Saturday, there have been 32—THIRTY-TWO—cases of measles reported throughout the country prompting President Trump to move to DEFCON...
BREAKING: Two wrongs actually make a right; millions of mothers stunned
In stunning reversal, it has been decided that two wrongs do, in fact, make a right. Following recent incidents in...
Activists raze Columbus, OH to the ground in reparation for Christopher Columbus
Columbus, OH—207 years after its founding, activists have started tearing down buildings and dismantling the transportation system as a way...
NY’s Cuomo unable to remove mysterious red stains from hands
For a week, New York's Governor Andrew Cuomo has been dealing with a mysterious red stain on his hands. The...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez campaigns with Dr. Evil for $1 million minimum wage
After many municipalities have mandated employers pay a minimum wage of $15 an hour, others are campaigning for higher minimum...
Pope Francis to bring back Inquisition for Cuomo, New York legislators after abortion bill
After New York passed a bill allowing abortion to be performed up to the point of birth, calls have come...
NY’s Cuomo can’t figure out why demons are tormenting him since signing abortion bill
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has a lot of problems as leader of New York. Now, his problems include several...
