BREAKING: Democrats warn DOGE that it’s unconstitutional for the federal government to be efficient 
Democrats warn they may never win another election again if Trump shuts down their USAID money laundering operation 
BREAKING: Trump halts Canadian tariffs after Trudeau agrees put “Daddy Trump” on all Canadian currency 
BREAKING: Trump converts all USAID offices into Spirit Halloween stores following shut down 
BREAKING: Trump signs executive order allowing straight white people in commercials again 
Harvard stages Biology 101 book burning to protest ‘misogynistic and transphobic science’
Students and faculty of prestigious Harvard University have staged a massive book-burning of Biology 101 text books to protest the...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Google offers aversion therapy for conservative employees who slipped through the cracks
After several complaints by Google employees that a manager mentioned the deeply problematic and homophobic word "family", the company (NASDAQ:...
All elected officials replaced with actual toddlers during government shutdown
Unbeknownst to the American public at large, all federal elected officials have been replaced with actual toddlers during the government...
Millennials unsure how to pay off student debt but certain about how to run the US economy
Millions of Millennials and the younger "Generation Z" have graduated college and graduate school with upwards of hundreds of thousands...
OPINION: Stop threatening to take away my border fencing
I grew up on the border in McAllen, Texas and I can tell you that we have a great quality...
Gillette stadium to host massive Jane Austen book club instead of “toxic masculine” football
The shaving products company, Gillette, has released a serious advertisement criticizing toxic masculinity and is expanding the campaign to their...
Gillette Introduces ‘Ball Blades’ to Help Fight ‘Toxic Masculinity’ via Castration
The razor giant Gillette is embracing the #MeToo movement with its new line of blades designed especially for excising testes....
APA declares masculinity a disease; millions of men apply for disability and society collapses
The American Psychiatric Association recently published its guidelines for men and boys, which declared "traditional masculinity" a disease as it...
DNC to Replace 2020 Convention with Two Minutes of Loud, Sustained Yelling at Images of Trump
In a move that some have called "hip" and "with it", the Democratic National Committee will do away with their...
Detective uncovers extreme Knights of Columbus terror plot to “save babies”
The scene can be described as jarring: A room full of octogenarians sitting around card tables and swilling beer while...
