Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
AOC: ‘If we just legalize theft and shooting there wouldn’t be much crime’
Progressive darling Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) defended cuts to the New York City Police Department (NYPD), saying, "If we just...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Navy hires former Bud Light VP to completely kill their brand too
The US Navy has announced its newest hire in an effort to completely destroy their brand: former Bud Light Vice...
BREAKING: More charges filed against Trump after evidence of him kicking a puppy surfaces
(CNN) US—The New York District Attorney Alvin Bragg has filed more charges against former President Donald Trump after evidence of...
Biden celebrates Cinco de Mayo letting a lucky 300 million illegal immigrants into the US
EL PASO—In a move that is sure to ruffle some feathers, President Joe Biden has announced that he will be...
BREAKING: Trans shaman who stormed Kentucky Capitol building sentenced to zero years in prison
In a surprising turn of events, the self-proclaimed trans shaman who led an insurrection at the Kentucky state capitol has...
New Chicago Mayor vows to fix all the damage done by the last Republican mayor in 1931
CHICAGO—In a recent press conference, newly elected Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson announced his ambitious plan to fix all the damage...
BREAKING: Navy promotes drag queen recruiter to Rear Admiral
In a groundbreaking move that is sure to raise a well-manicured eyebrow or two, the United States Navy has proudly...
Depressed New Yorkers look for alternative methods of suicide after gas stoves are banned starting in 2026
NEW YORK—In a blow to the depressed people of New York, the State Legislature banned gas stoves in most new...
Fox News unveils new graphics package to distract from Tucker not being there
In a bold move to distract viewers from the absence of their star anchor, Tucker Carlson, Fox News has unveiled...
Air Force One draws giant penis in the sky to signify that Biden is screwing America
US—In a shocking display of aerial artwork, Air Force One recently made headlines as it drew a giant, unmistakable image...
