Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
How to get that perfect selfie during the coming global thermonuclear war
In the age of social media, getting the perfect selfie has become a top priority for many people. But what...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: President Biden Accidentally Locks Himself in Oval Office, Can’t Find Key
WASHINGTON, DC—CNN reports that President Biden accidentally locked himself in the Oval Office and couldn’t remember where he put the...
Jimmy Carter asks Joe Biden to give his eulogy as the only president who can make him look good by comparison
PLAINS, Georgia—Former President Jimmy Carter has reportedly asked President Joe Biden to give his eulogy, citing Biden's ability to make...
BREAKING: AOC urges special committee to look into lost hour from Daylight Saving Time bank
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold move, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has called for a special congressional committee to investigate the lost hour...
BREAKING: President Biden Sells White House for $400 Million to Fund War in Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has officially sold the White House for $400 million to continue funding the war in Ukraine. DC...
Stock traders eagerly awaiting Jim Cramer’s recommendations so they can do the exact opposite
NEW YORK—Stock traders across the country are eagerly awaiting the latest recommendations from CNBC's Jim Cramer, only to immediately do...
BREAKING: Biden makes Monopoly money legal tender to pay for $6.8 trillion budget
In a shocking move, President Biden has announced that Monopoly money will now be considered legal tender in the United...
BREAKING: Tucker releases video of Chuck Schumer giving Q Shaman guided tour on Jan 6
Tucker Carlson has released previously unseen video footage of Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer giving the Q-Anon Shaman a guided...
BREAKING: Elon Musk to buy Congress to release all January 6 footage
Following the shocking reveal of previously unseen January 6 footage on Tucker Carlson, many are questioning why we having seen...
CNN: It’s ILLEGAL to watch Jan 6 video footage that proves the Jan 6 Committee lied
(CNN) Brave anchor Don Lemon made it very clear that it is ILLEGAL to watch the new footage of the...
