Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

JUST IN: AOC suggests banning murder to stop mass shootings

Rafi Metz March 26, 2021

NEW YORK CITY—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (NY) took the nation by storm today when she suggested the federal government should ban...

Biden installs windmills in White House to take advantage of all that wind knocking people over

Exavier Saskagoochie March 22, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has installed several massive windmills in the White House to take advantage of the intense wind...

BREAKING: Concentration camps are good now

Rafi Metz March 17, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—A common refrain among democrats during the Trump administration was that the government’s migrant facilities were literal ‘concentration camps’,...

Cuomo promises to harass at least 50% transwomen from now on

Exavier Saskagoochie March 16, 2021

ALBANY, NY--New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has agreed to a compromise with the #metoo movement to save his job. He...

AOC orders her steaks medium because large steaks aren’t eco-friendly

Exavier Saskagoochie March 8, 2021

BROOKLYN—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) does not mess around when she goes out to eat. She is fully masked and she...

AOC unveils plan to fix Texas’s energy problems

Exavier Saskagoochie February 24, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has suggested the answer to the near total failure of green energy in Texas...

AOC recommends increasing cow farts to warm Texas up

Exavier Saskagoochie February 19, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) made a bold suggestion for Texans experiencing unprecedented cooling caused by global warming: more cow...