BREAKING: Joe Biden re-enters presidential race after seeing Kamala Harris lose election
US—Joe Biden has announced that he will re-enter the presidential race after witnessing Kamala Harris's defeat in the 2024 election....
Donald Trump
Elon Musk opens salt mines sourced from liberal tears as Trump wins 2024 election
AUSTIN—Elon Musk has revealed that he has opened a new source of salt mines, which he claims are sourced entirely...
Several cities boarding up stores in preparation for massive ‘joy’ from Democrats in case Trump wins
PORTLAND—Several liberal cities across the United States have begun boarding up stores in preparation for the massive "joy" from Democrats...
BREAKING: Peanut the squirrel teams up with Harambe to posthumously endorse Donald Trump
NEW YORK—The spirit of Peanut the Squirrel has teamed up with Harambe the gorilla to posthumously endorse former President Donald...
Biden back to anti-bite collar to protect babies
President* Joe Biden has been spotted wearing his anti-bite collar once again, as concerns grow over his interactions with young...
BREAKING: Trump indicted for rescuing several babies from Biden Halloween sacrifice ritual
WASHINGTON, DC—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for rescuing several babies about to be eaten by President* Joe Biden...
Hillary Clinton to dress up as president for Halloween again
CHAPPAQUA, NY—Secretary Hillary Clinton has decided she will dress up as president of the United States yet again for Halloween....
BREAKING: Oscar the Grouch Endorses Trump After Biden’s Garbage Comment
SESAME STREET—Long time resident Oscar the Grouch surprised the nation today by officially endorsing Donald Trump for president, citing President...
Biden: ‘Garbage Trump supporters need to tone down the rhetoric or I’ll annihilate them all with tactical nukes and F-18s’
WASHINGTON, DC—In yet another one of his signature "folksy" moments, President* Joe Biden addressed escalating political tensions during a recent...
Tim Walz: ‘Those dipsh*t Nazi Republicans need to knock it off with the name-calling’
In a bold and impassioned speech from the steps of the Minnesota State Capitol, Democratic Vice Presidential Nominee Tim Walz...
