Biden: ‘I’m very excited to have Transformers in the US Military’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden was excited to hear that, "the US Military would be allowing Transformers to serve," overturning a...
woke
BRAVE: Georgetown basketball team kneels through entire game; loses 281-0
In a brave performance, the entire Georgetown men's basketball team, as well as coach Patrick Ewing, took a knee during...
White House demands removal of offensive new Dr. Seuss books
WASHINGTON, DC—White House personnel were infuriated to learn of new offensive Dr. Seuss books to replace the old offensive Dr....
Coca-Cola unveils new logo without any white
ATLANTA—In an effort to stay ahead of the woke curve, progressive soft drink company Coca-Cola has introduced its new logo,...
Coca-Cola now requiring employees to ‘be less white’ by wearing blackface
ATLANTA—Super woke soft drink company Coca-Cola is now mandating all employees to wear blackface in order to "be less white"....
BREAKING: The Dallas Mavericks secede from the United States
DALLAS—NBA team the Dallas Mavericks, led by owner Mark Cuban, have seceded from the United States. Cuban on Tuesday told...
Goodyear introduces new 2020 tires that only make left turns
Going all in on its recent zero tolerance for conservatives policy, Goodyear Tire Company is introducing its 2020 tires that...
Nike makes sweatshop workers work overtime to stitch ‘Equality’ on NBA jerseys
BEAVERTON, OR—Nike has agreed to force its thousands of sweatshop workers to work overtime for free in order to stitch...
Urban Dictionary to add 347,823 new non-binary pronouns in 2020 in order to alleviate confusion
In a stunning revelation, the New Urban Dictionary is about to reveal almost 350,000 new Woke non-binary pronouns simply because...
BREAKING: Obama, Clintons revealed to be white supremacists
As everyone is aware, the "okay" hand gesture is a longtime white supremacist symbol, and everyone using it is basically...
