Woke virtue signalers get new yard sign
In a stunning display of self-awareness, woke virtue signalers across the nation are rushing to get their hands on the...
Month: May 2023
BREAKING: CNN to air constant reruns of Trump townhall to boost ratings
ATLANTA—In a desperate attempt to boost their ratings, CNN has announced that they will be foregoing all other programming and...
Local dad’s joke fails to get any laughs
Local dad, Jim Johnson, made a valiant attempt at humor yesterday during a family gathering, but unfortunately failed to get...
Lightfoot to Abbott: ‘It’s inhumane to send immigrants here to Chicago where it’s so dangerous’
CHICAGO—In a press conference earlier today, outgoing Mayor Lori Lightfoot of Chicago made a public statement directed towards Texas Governor...
Local woman continues family tradition of hyphenated name to smash the patriarchy
Janice Smith-Wilson-Johannes-Rodriguez, a child of progressive parents and grandparents was born to Jimbo Johannes-Rodriguez and Sha'nay Smith-Wilson. She always knew...
AOC: ‘If we just legalize theft and shooting there wouldn’t be much crime’
Progressive darling Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) defended cuts to the New York City Police Department (NYPD), saying, "If we just...
BREAKING: Navy hires former Bud Light VP to completely kill their brand too
The US Navy has announced its newest hire in an effort to completely destroy their brand: former Bud Light Vice...
BREAKING: More charges filed against Trump after evidence of him kicking a puppy surfaces
(CNN) US—The New York District Attorney Alvin Bragg has filed more charges against former President Donald Trump after evidence of...
Biden celebrates Cinco de Mayo letting a lucky 300 million illegal immigrants into the US
EL PASO—In a move that is sure to ruffle some feathers, President Joe Biden has announced that he will be...
BREAKING: Trans shaman who stormed Kentucky Capitol building sentenced to zero years in prison
In a surprising turn of events, the self-proclaimed trans shaman who led an insurrection at the Kentucky state capitol has...
