BREAKING: Biden Comes Out As Trans, Pronouns Are Where/Am/I
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has announced that in honor of Pride Month, he’s coming out as trans. His pronouns are Where/Am/I....
Rafi Metz
Rafi is the king of satire, a master of his trade. Nobody is immune to his hyperbolic and satirical outrage. Nobody is spared from being the object of his incessant mockery. Because at the end of the day, everyone is a parody of themselves.
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BREAKING: United States to Discontinue Production of Bananas So People Will Stop Calling Us a Banana Republic
WASHINGTON, DC—The White House announced today that the United States will no longer produce bananas so people will stop saying...
Heavenly Sources Confirm America More Evil Than Sodom and Gomorrah
HEAVEN—Heavenly sources issued a very rare statement yesterday, confirming that America is more evil than the ancient cities of Sodom...
OP-ED: I’m Coming Out As Pro-LGBTQ
Pride month is in full gear, and there’s no better time to come out in support of our pro-LGBTQ allies...
Rise in Headaches Among Investors at New York Stock Exchange Due to Shaking Their Heads Up & Down at Stock Prices All Day
NEW YORK—Doctors around the state of New York have seen an uptick in patient visits recently who’ve been complaining about...
Report: Germans Very Impressed With FBI’s Gestapo Tactics
GERMANY—According to reports, many Germans are impressed with the FBI’s Gestapo tactics. The reports have been published amid the release...
State Department Issues Travel Advisory for Florida Due to Increasing Liberty and Freedom
WASHINGTON, DC— The U.S. State Department has issued a series of travel warnings to Americans looking to visit Florida this...
OP-ED By My SUV: I Was Born A Kia, But I Identify As A Honda
While I may look like another typical SUV, I’m not. Not at all. And that’s because I’m the first automobile...
OP-ED: I Failed My Math Exam. This Is Why We Need Common Sense Pencil Control.
I received a failing grade on a recent math exam in school and as you can imagine, I’m livid. I...
OP-ED: A Heartfelt Letter to All the Legacy Blue Checks Who Lost Their Blue Checkmarks on Twitter
We’ve seen the suffering and misery that ordinary Americans have to endure on a daily basis. It isn’t funny in...
