President Biden declares Eagles Superbowl LV Champs by executive order
WASHINGTON, DC—At 5AM Eastern Time today President-Elect Biden issued another executive order, declaring the Philadelphia Eagles the Super Bowl Champions...
Business
David Hogg launches MyPillow competition: MyDillow for small, mousy men
Parkland school shooting survivor and gun control advocate David Hogg plans to launch his own pillow company to compete with...
Economist Paul Krugman suggests workers use only their left hand to boost employment
UNITED STATES—In today’s edition of the former newspaper New York Times Nobel Prize winning-economist Paul Krugman wrote an op-ed in...
AOC: ‘I was almost just killed by an economics textbook’
NEW YORK CITY—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) recounted today on Twitter a very disturbing experience she had recently. AOC said she...
AOC claims Starbucks tried to kill her by misspelling her name on her to-go coffee
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) is living a nightmare in the hellscape that is the nation's capital. Not only...
Walmart now offering free COVID anal swabs before shopping
BENTONVILLE, AR—In the interest of making the shopping experience for everyone as safe as can be, Walmart Supercenters will now...
Biden gets revenge on Trump by raising cost of insulin for millions of Americans
WASHINGTON, DC—President-No longer elect Biden and his administration is finally getting back at the evil dictator Trump by raising the...
BREAKING: CIA begins funneling weapons to libertarians after Biden labels them terrorists
PENTAGON—The Central Intelligence Agency has immediately started funneling money and weapons to various libertarian groups throughout the US after President...
Biden to mandate 12-month paid vacation for all American workers
WASHINGTON, DC—In preparation of Biden taking office this week, the transition team has released a partial list of legislative items...
BREAKING: Biden proposes raising minimum wage to $1,000,000 an hour
WASHINGTON, DC—President-Elect Joe Biden announced today that on day one of his presidency, he’ll pass an executive order raising the...
