BREAKING: AOC begins cloning herself so that ‘everyone can date her’
US—Blueside Biological Labs has begun cloning US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) so that "everyone can date her," according to Left...
Business
Newsom tackles LA train looting crisis by making cute little BLM sculpture from leftover trash
LOS ANGELES—California Governor Gavin Newsom turned lemons into lemonade today by creating a fun little "Black Lives Matter" sculpture out...
Pfizer CEO says Omicron vaccine will be ready just in time for it to be completely useless
US—Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla on Monday said a vaccine that targets the Omicron variant of COVID will be ready in March, just in...
Gov. Newsom named U-Haul’s #1 salesman of 2021
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom is racking up the awards. For the first time this year, Newsom has been named U-Haul’s number...
Amazon to become a church to avoid paying taxes forever
SEATTLE—In a genius move, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos announced today that Amazon, the world’s largest online retailer will become a...
Due to supply chain shortages Chick-fil-A changes name to Cat-fil-A
ATLANTA—Due to supply chain issues across the US, the largest fast casual restaurant chain, Chik-fil-A, is changing its name to...
New MasterClass: Greta Thunberg Teaches What It’s Like Being Black in America
US—MasterClass is on a roll recently. After nabbing the power duo Bill and Hillary Clinton for classes on Blue Dress...
Elon Musk buys Twitter for $600B to label all CDC tweets as misinformation
AUSTIN—The world's wealthiest man and recent Time Person of the Year Elon Musk has purchased the legacy social media platform...
‘Businessmen are parasites’ says rep who lives solely on extorted taxpayer money
WASHINGTON, DC—Brave Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), who has been an ardent fighter for the unemployed worker, recently set aim on...
CNN: No one is left to report on child sex abuse conspiracy theory because everyone has been fired for child sex abuse
ATLANTA—CNN has been at the forefront of the brave mainstream media denying that there is an epidemic of child sex...
