Walmart opens new ‘Loot!’ section in all of its San Francisco-area stores
UNITED STATES—Walmart CEO Dan McMillon announced today that Walmart will have a special looting section in all of its San...
Business
Amid inflation surge, Wheel of Fortune forced to raise price of vowels
Inflation has been hitting virtually every major sector of the economy – from gas at the pump, to food, to...
How to Get Over Hesitance of Giving Your Kids Deadly Drugs to Prevent Diseases that Don’t Harm them
We at Genesius Times care about your health. But we care about our bottom line more. That's why we're offering...
CNN: Biden to ensure this supply chain stays open
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden is working nonstop to combat the supply chain issues that President* Biden is creating. But he has...
Gates warns he will release smallpox if people don’t get COVID vaccine
SEATTLE—Tech founder and worldwide supervillain Bill Gates says that he will release the deadliest disease known to man—smallpox—if people don’t get vaccinated...
John Kerry seen unloading private jet from transport jet en route to Climate Conference
LONDON—President Biden’s Climate Czar John Kerry was accused by critics of attempting to stage a photo op on Saturday after...
New hack for managers to get around pesky sexual harassment laws
US—If you're a pervy middle manager in a Fortune 500 company, you're in luck! Thanks to President* Biden's new vaccine...
CDC recommends 4th booster shot for those who haven’t died yet
ATLANTA—The Centers for Disease Control and Promotion (CDC) is now recommending a fourth COVID vaccine booster shot for all of...
Shoppers already lining up for Black Friday deals outside of cargo ship off California coast
LOS ANGELES—Shoppers have already started lining up for this year's Black Friday deals at beaches across California. They have their...
FDA agrees to use children in deadly experiments instead of dogs
WASHINGTON, DC—Following outrage about Dr. Anthony Fauci's use of beagles in horrible experiments, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has...
