Disney CEO Chapek promises at least 2 anal sex scenes in all kids’ movies from now on
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—In a town hall meeting today, Disney CEO Bob Chapek said the entertainment behemoth would put together...
Business
In response to Russian attack, Biden imposes several new sanctions on American citizens
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the further attack by Russia on Ukraine, the Biden administration announced new sanctions on American citizens, ensuring further...
BREAKING: Chicago cancels all drive-by shootings this week due to high gas prices
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot announced that all drive-by shootings will be suspended due to high gas prices. "I'm sorry to announce...
Biden announces new mandate requiring workers to show proof of support for Ukraine to keep job
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden administration ordered U.S. companies today to ensure their employees are fully supporting Ukraine by Jan. 4 or...
Tina and Amy award Genesius Times with 7 Falsies at the 4th Annual Fake News Awards
NEW YORK—Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosted the 4th annual Fake News Awards at the Hyatt Grand Central, last night...
Biden bans buying oil from Russia; mandates buying Russian oil from China marked up 10%
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden announced Tuesday the U.S. will ban all oil imports from Russia and require imports of...
Buttigieg wears fabulous Marie Antoinette dress in energy event: ‘Let them drive electric’
WASHINGTON, DC—Look out red carpet! US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg wore a fabulous dress owned by the one and only...
Biden asks for $10 billion for ‘big, beautiful’ border wall for Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has asked Congress for $10 billion to build what he calls a "big, beautiful" border wall...
Biden receives ashes from Church of Planned Parenthood on Ash Wednesday
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden received ashes from the Church of Planned Parenthood on Ash Wednesday. The tradition started several years...
EXCLUSIVE: Ukranian president demands a full refund of the millions in bribes to the Bidens
KYIV--Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has demanded a full refund for the millions of dollars he gave the Bidens after US President*...
