Disney opens new White Guilt Ride where whites can pay $160 to be slaves
VISTA DEL MAL, FL—In a brave move to call attention to systemic racism Disney World is introducing a new ride...
Entertainment
BREAKING: Demi Lovato comes out as an attention whore
HOLLYWOOD—Many sources are reporting that Demi Lovato has come out as an attention whore. The story is now more important...
Biden addresses gas lines by sending in world class musicians
In June of 1973, the price of a gallon of gasoline was under 50 cents. By May of 1974, it...
BREAKING: Fox News projects Hunter Biden to win the Pulitzer for stupid memoir
DOOSHE, DE--Hunter Biden's heavily-promoted sex- and drug-filled memoir "Beautiful Things" has tanked in its first week on bookshelves, selling only...
Biden: ‘I’m very excited to have Transformers in the US Military’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden was excited to hear that, "the US Military would be allowing Transformers to serve," overturning a...
Biden cancels April Fool’s Day because it marginalizes Democrats
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has officially cancelled April Fool's Day because it promotes the continued marginalization of his voters. "April...
BRAVE: Georgetown basketball team kneels through entire game; loses 281-0
In a brave performance, the entire Georgetown men's basketball team, as well as coach Patrick Ewing, took a knee during...
Grammys slammed for including inappropriate Pepé Le Pew in otherwise family-friendly Cardi B pornography
HOLLYWOOD—People across the country were livid that the Grammys production staff included the offensive and inappropriate cartoon skunk Pepé Le...
Moms relieved Pepé Le Pew is canceled so their kids can get back to watching ‘Wet Ass Pussy’ in peace
US—Moms around the country are relieved that the Loony Toons character Pepé Le Pew has been cancelled so their kids...
Disney releases first oppressed princess Meghan doll
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—Disney has released the first oppressed princess Meghan doll—a new line of toys marketed to young girls....
