BREAKING: NBA finally ends discrimination based on height
NEW YORK—The National Basketball Association (NBA) has ended its longstanding discriminatory policy on height after many allegations of teams excluding...
Sports
NBA replaces basketball with ‘ball of knives’ in honor of Ma’Khia Bryant
LOS ANGELES—Communist China puppet activist and occasional basketball star LeBron James has created a new way in standing in solidarity...
Minnesota 2021 spring Riot Season set to open this week
MINNEAPOLIS—Minnesota's 2021 spring Riot Season is set to open in most areas of the state this week. Looters and rioters...
MLB changes name to Baseball League Matters in response to protest
ATLANTA—Major League Baseball (MLB) has changed its name to Baseball League Matters (BLM) in response to the protest of its...
BRAVE: Georgetown basketball team kneels through entire game; loses 281-0
In a brave performance, the entire Georgetown men's basketball team, as well as coach Patrick Ewing, took a knee during...
OJ Simpson teams with Hillary Clinton to write ‘If I Did It 2’
CHAPPAQUA, NY—In a sequel to his 2007 hit book If I Did It, OJ Simpson is teaming with Hillary Clinton...
TRADE ALERT: GOP trades Mitt Romney to Democrats for cash and an intern to be named later
Democrats in the senate announced a blockbuster trade Monday, noting that they obtained Utah Senator Mitt Romney from the GOP...
Donald Trump is the first back-to-back impeachment champion ever
WASHINGTON, DC—There has never been a two-time, let alone a back-to-back impeachment champion until now. Donald Trump has defeated the...
BREAKING: The Dallas Mavericks secede from the United States
DALLAS—NBA team the Dallas Mavericks, led by owner Mark Cuban, have seceded from the United States. Cuban on Tuesday told...
BREAKING: Chiefs win Super Bowl LV after scoring 6 touchdowns at 4 am when no one was watching
TAMPA BAY—The Kansas City Chiefs, along with the rest of the world, thought they had lost Super Bowl LV when...
