BREAKING: Fox News calls tomorrow’s California recall election for Gavin Newsom
SACRAMENTO—Fox News has officially called tomorrow's California recall election for Governor Gavin Newsom hours before in-person voting has begun. After...
World
UPDATE: Taliban conducting mostly peaceful beheadings and other news
Welcome to PNN news, the Puppet News Network. This is your up to the minute update. Taliban forces continue to...
BREAKING: 1500 Americans left in Afghanistan have information that will lead to Hillary Clinton’s arrest
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—Up to 1,500 Americans that are left in Afghanistan after US President* Biden pulled forces out have information that...
BREAKING: Taliban to combat climate change by killing all dissenters who breathe
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—The Taliban has vowed to tackle climate change as part of the terror group's attempt to rebrand itself and modernize. A spokesman...
Biden sending 5000 troops to get all Americans trapped inside Chicago
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden told Americans stuck in Chicago that the government will bring them back to the U.S. even as it is not sure how...
BREAKING: Biden surrenders to Nazi Germany too
WASHINGTON, DC—After a successful withdrawal and surrender to Taliban forces in Afghanistan, US President* Joe Biden has unilaterally decided to...
BREAKING: Pete Buttigieg declares himself winner in Afghanistan election
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—As the new Afghan government is forming, former US Democratic Presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg announced himself victorious in the...
Biden orders all rainbow flags flown at half-staff after Taliban cancels UN queer theory classes
WASHINGTON, DC—Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General Mark Milley was appalled to hear that the Taliban cancelled all...
Biden assures Americans trapped in Afghanistan he won’t send any mean tweets
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden finally promised the 10-15,000 Americans still trapped in Afghanistan that they don't need to worry about...
