Local men dominate International Women’s Day 
BREAKING: Democrats unveil bold new ‘Peace is War’ campaign in support of endless Ukraine conflict 
AOC horrified terrorists are running over people with gas-powered cars instead of electric vehicles 
CNN: More cars mysteriously drive themselves into German pedestrians 
Bondi assures Americans: ‘Epstein files coming soon—just need to blot out all the Israeli connections first’ 
BREAKING: Redacted FBI warrant for Mar-a-Lago raid just says ‘Orange Man Bad’
WASHINGTON, DC—The Justice Department released a sealed version of its proposed redactions to the FBI affidavit used to get a...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Biden clarifies that student loan forgiveness will only be for people with completely worthless degrees like ‘Gender Studies’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden clarified his student loan forgiveness program today, stating that it will only apply to people with completely...
Brittney Griner celebrates 140 days being drug-free
MOSCOW—WNBA superstar Brittney Griner celebrated 140 days being drug free today while serving a 9-year-sentence for possessing marijuana in Russia....
McConnell outraged at Biden canceling student debt: ‘We could have sent that $300B to Ukraine!’
WASHINGTON, DC—House Minority leader Mitch McConnell said he is outraged about President* Joe Biden’s student loan forgiveness, which he announced...
FBI: Trump was hiding Area 51 space aliens at Mar-a-Lago
MAR-A-LAGO, FL—Genesius Times has just received credible information that the wild speculation that the Mar-a-largo Raid was the result of...
‘I can’t afford my student loan’ woman wearing $1000 outfit tweets on $800 phone
Angry with the injustice of the financial system, fashionable local woman Charlie Burke hate tweeted, "I can't afford my student...
BREAKING: Biden to replace Fauci with Dr. Jill Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—After hearing about the departure of Dr. Anthony Fauci from the NIAID and government service, President* Joe Biden promised...
BREAKING: Russians massacre innocent Ukrainian family in cold blood
KYIV—Russians have brutally massacred an innocent Ukrainian family for no reason as shown in a surveillance video. US President* Biden...
Branch Covidians hold candlelight vigil after learning Fauci will be stepping down
US—Adherents to the fastest growing religion in the country, the Branch Covidian cult, held candlelight vigils across the country after...
