BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
Chris Rock to have sex with Will Smith’s wife instead of make fun of her so that Smith won’t hit him again
HOLLYWOOD—Chris Rock will have sex with Will Smith's wife Jada Pinkett-Smith instead of make fun of her again so that...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
FACT CHECK: Biden didn’t call for regime change in Russia when he said Russia’s regime needs to change
WARSAW—The White House said that U.S. President* Joe Biden was not calling for regime change in Russia when he said...
Real ‘Butcher of Mariupol’ says he’s not giving up his title to some Russian General over a few dead friends
MARIUPOL, UKRAINE—Viktor Morozova has been cutting meat and serving the local community since he was ‘only as tall as a...
Zelenskyyy adds another ‘y’ to his name to become even more lovable than before
KYIV—Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyyy has added another 'y' to his name to become even more lovable than before, sources say....
BREAKING: Local man creates time machine by moving clock forward 1 hour every morning
PLEASANTVILLE—Myron Slipnicks says he has traveled into the future simply by moving his clock ahead 1 hour every morning. He...
World’s most expensive whore makes largest donation in Planned Parenthood history
SEATTLE—The world's most expensive whore, MacKenzie Scott, has donated $275 million to the abortion mill nonprofit Planned Parenthood — the...
Local leftist swaps ‘Coexist’ bumper sticker with ‘Kill Every Russian NOW!’ sticker
US—A local leftist, Wankie McLittlejon, has finally switched his ‘Coexist’ bumper sticker to one that says ‘Kill Every Russian NOW!'...
Disney CEO Chapek promises at least 2 anal sex scenes in all kids’ movies from now on
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—In a town hall meeting today, Disney CEO Bob Chapek said the entertainment behemoth would put together...
SCOTUS nominee brings a biologist with her every time she goes to the bathroom to tell her which one to use
WASHINGTON, DC—Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson refused to define the word “woman” in her Supreme Court confirmation hearing Tuesday, asserting that...
SCOTUS pick Jackson declines to define ‘woman’ because she ‘never got to see Kindergarten Cop’
Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson and GOP Sen. Marsha Blackburn sparred over questions of sex and gender during the second day...
