Local man lives in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years 
All 6 WNBA fans devastated as Angel Reese threatens to sit out if she’s not paid more 
Local men dominate International Women’s Day 
BREAKING: Democrats unveil bold new ‘Peace is War’ campaign in support of endless Ukraine conflict 
AOC horrified terrorists are running over people with gas-powered cars instead of electric vehicles 
BREAKING: Presidential Limo ‘The Beast’ at center of Jan 6 hearing is found dead in apparent suicide
WASHINGTON, DC—The armored presidential limousine dubbed "The Beast", which is at the center of the January 6 Commission investigation, has...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Unvaxxed, unhealthy, sick, risk to all of society, person wins Wimbledon
WIMBLEDON, ENGLAND—An unhealthy, unvaxxed, sick, risk to society somehow won one of the most grueling sporting events in the world:...
Experts agree this is how the US will look in 3 years if we don’t reverse climate change now
US—In an utterly horrifying projection, experts across the client science field agreed that this picture is how the US will...
Justin Trudeau gives touching homage to former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe
OTTAWA—World leaders past and present expressed shock and sadness at the death of former Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe, who was...
Megan Rapinoe bravely stands on American flag while receiving the Presidential Medal of Honor
WASHINGTON, DC—Soccer player Megan Rapinoe bravely stood on an American flag while receiving the Presidential Medal of Honor from President*...
Mitch McConnell posts video of himself twerking to drum up support for midterms
WASHINGTON, DC—After Rhode Island state Senator Tiara Mack gained massive social reactions for posting a video of herself twerking on...
New FBI Child ID App lets you upload pics of your kids directly to Hunter Biden’s laptop
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the stunning success covering up for President* Joe Biden's son Hunter's laptop full of child pornography, the FBI...
Harvard discontinues all Masters degrees due to problematic tie to the slave-era word ‘master’
BOSTON—In an unprecedented move, the elite Ivy League university Harvard has discontinued all Masters degree programs because of the problematic...
BREAKING: FBI arrest person of interest in 4th of July shooting at Highland Park
CHICAGO—Federal authorities have identified a person of interest in the Highland Park, Illinois, 4th of July parade shooting as 89-year-old Gertrude...
Dems file articles of impeachment against US Founding Fathers for inciting insurrection
WASHINGTON, DC—Flanked by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff and a number of other top Democrats...
