BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
COVID-positive Barack Obama will social distance from Michelle for another 4 years
MARTHA'S VINEYARD-- After testing positive for COVID-19, former President Barack Obama says he will continue to social distance from Michelle,...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
In response to Russian attack, Biden imposes several new sanctions on American citizens
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the further attack by Russia on Ukraine, the Biden administration announced new sanctions on American citizens, ensuring further...
American Fetuses identify as Ukrainians so that Democrats recognize their right to life
As many Democratic dominated state legislatures across the country push for extreme abortion deregulation including bills that would allow for...
BREAKING: Chicago cancels all drive-by shootings this week due to high gas prices
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot announced that all drive-by shootings will be suspended due to high gas prices. "I'm sorry to announce...
Top Ten stupid errors holding up Ukraine’s ‘Fast Track’ EU application
10). Date should be month, day, year; not day, month, year9). The addendum to the addendum was not attached to...
Biden announces new mandate requiring workers to show proof of support for Ukraine to keep job
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden administration ordered U.S. companies today to ensure their employees are fully supporting Ukraine by Jan. 4 or...
Biden Pentagon hires Jussie Smollett to fake a Russian attack on US
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has been looking for an excuse to go to war with Russia since he took office....
BREAKING: Jussie Smollett claims white supremacists killed him in jail last night
CHICAGO—Actor Jussie Smollett, who was sentenced to months in prison for faking a hate crime yesterday, now claims that members...
Buttigieg recommends a ‘horse and buggy’ for those who can’t afford gas right now
WASHINGTON, DC—Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg said that those unable to pay the high gas prices caused by inflation and the...
Tina and Amy award Genesius Times with 7 Falsies at the 4th Annual Fake News Awards
NEW YORK—Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosted the 4th annual Fake News Awards at the Hyatt Grand Central, last night...
