BREAKING: Nation shocked to see a president in a room full of children and not sniff any of them 
BREAKING: Democrats warn DOGE that it’s unconstitutional for the federal government to be efficient 
Democrats warn they may never win another election again if Trump shuts down their USAID money laundering operation 
BREAKING: Trump halts Canadian tariffs after Trudeau agrees put “Daddy Trump” on all Canadian currency 
BREAKING: Trump converts all USAID offices into Spirit Halloween stores following shut down 
AOC demands Black Friday be renamed ‘Friday of Color’
USâRep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) was furious today after she learned that retailers and shopping outlets were still referring to the...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs
Washington, D.C. â In a move that left both sides of the aisle scratching their heads, former President Donald Trump...
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus
Washington, D.C. â In a surprising twist to his final days as Transportation Secretary, Pete Buttigieg announced a groundbreakingâsome would...
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony
Washington, D.C. â The annual Thanksgiving turkey pardon at the White House took an unexpected turn today when President Joe...
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me
When I first joined X (formerly Twitter), it was a safe haven for people like meâprogressive, open-minded, and wholly committed...
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government
NEW YORK â A piece of conceptual art consisting of a simple banana, duct-taped to a wall, sold for $6.2...
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign
Jaguar has introduced a new car designed specifically to match its groundbreaking gay ad campaign: the Dildo-Mobile. During a press...
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions
As a woman who has been sexually assaulted by whoever Trump appoints to any cabinet position, I feel it is...
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies
NEW YORKâIn a move that sent shockwaves through both tech and media industries, Elon Musk has announced his acquisition of...
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine
President John F. Kennedy was reportedly startled by loud noises and tripped, falling in his limousine during a motorcade through...
