BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth opens senate confirmation hearing by calling Adam Schiff ‘so ugly even Epstein wouldn’t bring him to his island’ 
BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Biden reassures California wildfire victims he will be sending $100 billion to Ukraine in their name 
AOC horrified that people are using gas-powered blowtorches instead of solar-powered one to start wildfires in California 
Gavin Newsom unveils fully-developed ‘totally spontaneous’ plans to rebuild Los Angeles after fires 
Due to supply chain shortages Chick-fil-A changes name to Cat-fil-A
ATLANTA—Due to supply chain issues across the US, the largest fast casual restaurant chain, Chik-fil-A, is changing its name to...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Kamala Harris says Mayan calendar prophesies she will assume presidency February 02, 2022
WASHINGTON DC—Vice President Kamala Harris says the Mayan calendar has revealed she is to take the presidency of the United...
FBI to put 100% of agents on finding out who got Biden to say ‘Let’s go Brandon’
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI is known for their tireless dedication to fighting horrible crimes and only horrible crimes. Like the time...
New ‘Santifa’ cards include explosives instead of glitter
Looking for a clever way to celebrate the holidays in 2021? Look no further! The new Santifa cards come with...
Generous Americans donate their vaccines to undocumented immigrants
US—Millions of generous Americans are forgoing their COVID vaccines to make sure that the millions of undocumented immigrants pouring in...
‘Greatest Generation’ renamed ‘Meh Generation’ for raising Boomers
Once regarded as history's finest for overcoming the Great Depression and World War II, the "Greatest Generation" has been renamed...
Fauci cancels Christmas so he won’t have to go back to North Pole to make toys
WASHINGTON, DC—Chief medical adviser to US President* Joe Biden, diminutive Dr. Anthony Fauci has decided to cancel Christmas this year...
BREAKING: Hillary Clinton ‘seriously thinking about’ losing again in 2024
Hillary Clinton said that she was, “seriously thinking about,” losing the presidency again in 2024. After a fall in the polls...
CDC warns US NOT to get J&J shot after J&J failed to contribute enough to DNC
ATLANTA—A Centers for Disease Control and Proliferation (CDC) advisory committee voted Thursday to advise calling mRNA coronavirus vaccines such as...
New MasterClass: Greta Thunberg Teaches What It’s Like Being Black in America
US—MasterClass is on a roll recently. After nabbing the power duo Bill and Hillary Clinton for classes on Blue Dress...
