Local men dominate International Women’s Day 
BREAKING: Democrats unveil bold new ‘Peace is War’ campaign in support of endless Ukraine conflict 
AOC horrified terrorists are running over people with gas-powered cars instead of electric vehicles 
CNN: More cars mysteriously drive themselves into German pedestrians 
Bondi assures Americans: ‘Epstein files coming soon—just need to blot out all the Israeli connections first’ 
New White House cat bears strong resemblance to missing cat from Pennsylvania
Willow Glen farmer Andy “Buck’ Clydebrook shook his head when told that his cat, Willow, missing for a while, looked...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Apple releases blatantly racist ‘man stealing watermelon’ emoji
CUPERTINO, CA—Tech giant Apple just released a blatantly racist "man stealing watermelon" emoji, according to sources. "I don't know who...
Biden announces ‘Top Ten’ demands for Russia and Putin
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden announced his Top Ten demands for Russia and Putin as tensions at the Ukraine border escalate:1)....
Chicago Mayor Lightfoot offers cash reward to take down Batman
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot has stepped it up a notch by offering a cash reward for anyone who can capture and...
Trudeau goes into hiding as trucker convoy descends on Ottawa
OTTAWA, CA—Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has gone into hiding as upwards of 50,000 trucks and over 500,000 people descend...
Joe Rogan replaces Neil Young in Crosby, Stills & Nash supergroup
Legendary folk rock supergroup Crosby, Stills & Nash announced comedian Joe Rogan joined the band and will begin touring unvaccinated-mandated...
Fauci: new federal ‘Jumbo’, XXX size anal swabs approved for TSA airport use
WASHINGTON, DC—Airline travel will be much safer with the use of the new Omicron, XXX anal swabs being utilized by...
OPED: I was raped by whoever Biden chooses to replace Breyer on the Supreme Court
This is incredibly difficult for me to do but I feel that it’s necessary to come forward and expose the...
Introducing Clarissa Thomas, the first black female Supreme Court justice
President* Joe Biden promised that he would pick a black female to replace Justice Stephen Breyer on the country's highest...
Biden vows to make SCOTUS more diverse by picking first human turd to replace Justice Breyer
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the announcement that Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer is stepping down, President* Joe Biden promised to make the...
