Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
BREAKING: Biden adds Pfizer to US flag, Pledge of Allegiance
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden yesterday announced that he is adding Pfizer to the official US flag and the Pledge of Allegiance...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Bill Gates to constantly stroke a white cat to solidify his role as global supervillain
REDMOND, WA—Renowned tech and biotech mogul Bill Gates has decided he will carry around a white cat and stroke it...
BREAKING: COVID-19 has died after infecting Chuck Norris at age 81
DALLAS—COVID-19, the novel coronavirus, which has wrecked havoc across the globe, has been declared dead after infecting Chuck Norris. "We...
Colin Powell dies from COVID-19 shortly after dying from cancer
WASHINGTON, DC—Colin Powell, who served Democratic and Republican presidents in war and peace but whose sterling reputation was forever stained...
BREAKING: Colin Powell to expose Clinton Foundation fraud tomorrow
WASHINGTON, DC—While former Secretary of State Colin Powell said he voted for Clinton in 2020, he has since learned of...
NFL relieved that no racist or sexual ‘trash talk’ has ever been used by players
Following revelations of inappropriate remarks in emails by former Raiders' coach Jon Gruden, the NFL has conducted an investigation into...
BREAKING: Virginia legalizes rapes by men who wear skirts
RICHMOND, VA—Governor Ralph Northam signed the most progressive sexual assault bill in the country today as Virginia legalized rapes for...
Tips to Run a Successful Business Without a College Degree
Are you interested in starting your own business? You might think that you will have a more challenging time if...
California law mandates stores carry ‘My Little Communist’ action figures
SACREMENTO, CA—Governor Gavin Newsom signed into law a mandate that requires all stores sell a gender-neutral "My Little Communist" action...
CNN: Biden draws huge boat parade off California coast
(CNN) LOS ANGELES—While there wasn't much support for President* Joe Biden during his campaign, the first Alzheimer's patient in the...
