AOC: ‘If global warming is a hoax, why is it 90° in Australia now in the middle of WINTER?!’ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth opens senate confirmation hearing by calling Adam Schiff ‘so ugly even Epstein wouldn’t bring him to his island’ 
BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Biden reassures California wildfire victims he will be sending $100 billion to Ukraine in their name 
AOC horrified that people are using gas-powered blowtorches instead of solar-powered one to start wildfires in California 
Feds working to restore power to Ida victims so they can get back to spying on them
NEW ORLEANS--Federal agents are working feverishly to restore power the victims of Hurricane Ida in Louisiana, New Jersey, and New...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Biden mandates a forehead tattoo of ‘build back better’ as national vaccine passport
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden announced today that he will be mandating a national vaccine passport in order for people to...
Biden sues Benedict Arnold for title of ‘Worst Traitor to the USA’
Former Vice-President Joe Biden has sued the former United States Continental General Benedict Arnold for the title of "Worst Traitor...
Quadruple vaxxed hero shames triple vaxxed grandma-killer
SEATTLE, WA- Minutes after receiving her fourth wuflu vaccination shot, local woman Heather Jarrett stood outside the hospital entrance and...
Harvard elects first brainless man as provost
In an unprecedented move, the elite Ivy League university has selected a man without a brain to lead the school's...
UPDATE: Taliban conducting mostly peaceful beheadings and other news
Welcome to PNN news, the Puppet News Network. This is your up to the minute update. Taliban forces continue to...
BREAKING: 1500 Americans left in Afghanistan have information that will lead to Hillary Clinton’s arrest
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—Up to 1,500 Americans that are left in Afghanistan after US President* Biden pulled forces out have information that...
Homeland Security adds new potential terror threats
WASHINGTON, DC—The US Department of Homeland Security has issued new potential terror threats in the wake of the Afghanistan debacle....
BREAKING: Derek Chauvin released after changing defense to ‘I saved countless lives by killing George Floyd’
MINNEAPOLIS—Former Minneapolis Police Department Officer Derek Chauvin, who was convicted of the murder of George Floyd in 2020, was released...
Healthy, vaccinated woman who died of COVID blamed unvaccinated for her illness
US—A local healthy and fully-vaccinated 40-year-old woman, Kristie Kreme, recently contracted and died from COVID-19. Her family says that she...
