Hunter Biden claims new ‘masterpieces’ lost in wildfire were totally worth $200 million 
AOC: ‘If global warming is a hoax, why is it 90° in Australia now in the middle of WINTER?!’ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth opens senate confirmation hearing by calling Adam Schiff ‘so ugly even Epstein wouldn’t bring him to his island’ 
BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Biden reassures California wildfire victims he will be sending $100 billion to Ukraine in their name 
Mayor reminds citizens to wear BLM gear when burning city so the FBI won’t investigate
PORTLAND, OR—City officials urged that rioters proudly display their Black Lives Matter gear while burning the city down in protest...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Female cop ‘accidentally’ pulls hairdryer instead of gun
MINNEAPOLIS—Minneapolis police officer Samantha Everett was involved in an altercation with an armed suspect Saturday when she reached for her...
Walmart opens new riot section in all of its stores
UNITED STATES—Walmart CEO Dan McMillon announced today that Walmart will have a special rioting section in all of its stores....
Ben and Jerry’s launches ‘Be Less Vanilla’ ice cream with arsenic to fight white supremacy
(FOX NEWS)—Ben and Jerry’s will begin including the deadly toxin arsenic in their "Be Less Vanilla" ice cream to fight...
Biden announces universal castration in order to stop sexual assault and regulate ‘ghost penises’
WASHINGTON, DC—President *Joe Biden announced major steps to address sexual assault today, using the executive authority to write laws. Biden announced six...
AOC proposes infrastructure bill where the nation’s infrastructure is destroyed and rebuilt again
NEW YORK—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez offered her own infrastructure bill earlier today. The bill would require the government to completely destroy...
LIMITED TIME ONLY: Get 100% discount at Minneapolis Nike stores if you use promo #racialjustice
MINNEAPOLIS—For a limited time only, residents can get 100% discount at Minneapolis Nike store when they use the promo code...
BREAKING: Biden makes it illegal to arrest any Person of Color for any crime ever
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the trial of Derek Chauvin who was charged with making George Floyd "eat too many drugs" before getting...
Local small business eyes big riches by getting woke
CORPUS CHRISTI, TX- Following the example of popular mega-corporations, local landscaper George Feldman's growing business is adopting woke politics in...
Biden: ‘No constitutional amendment is absolute so…slavery is back on the table’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden opened the door to a renewed American slave trade after stating that "no constitutional amendment is absolute."...
